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How do I...

Published on February 18, 2013 by vodooangel

I see him a lot and I do enjoy it. However all we do I sit at my place. We never go out to dinner or the movies or dancing or just out on a walk. He says he is not a "people" person and that he does not "plan" things. But then he tells me stories all the time about the things he is doing when we are not together. I care about him a lot and I want this to work out but I don't feel like I am "part" of his life. I feel like he is ashamed of me because we never do anything ever. And every time I try to talk to him about it, he always has some way of justifying it. Always has an excuse ready on why we can't be part of the world. How do I bring this up without him turning it around on me or me sounding like a need, complaining girlfriend? I need him to understand where I am coming from, but I don't want to lose him.

ANSWERS

He's not neccessarily ashamed of you - some guys really AREN'T people persons and don't get out much (and very few guys will go dancing at anything less than gun point). However, you ARE seeing what he's like and what likes likely to remain like (contrary to public opinion, people don't change much over their lifetimes). If you can see yourself being happy spending more time (or even a lifetime) with him like this, I'd say to go ahead. If not, admit that you and he are not a good match, and move on in a search for someone who is.

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