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He talks about a future together (marriage + kids) but he hasn't said "i love you"...

Published on April 16, 2013 by florence80

So, i met him 3 years ago. We've been on and off for 2 years (since we weren't living in the same country) and now we have almost a year dating. We are going to move in together very soon. Recently, he said he's been thinking about us and our future, that he would like to get marry and have kids with me but he hasn't said "i love you", i said it already and every time i say it he hugs me and kisses me. I asked him once if he felt the same way about me and he said yes, but still no "i love you". Also, he hasn't said to his family that he has a serious girlfriend, well... he recently mention to his parents that he is seeing someone but that's all. It's not like I'm a secret, I met his friends and coworkers, but... I don't know if this is normal or if I'm just being a bit crazy.

ANSWERS

To be neutral, lets have a laugh first...Do all women need a man to say " I love you" before we jump in the sack to have sex in every instance?LOL, Now that we've had an opportunity to laugh at ourselves we can honestly say there just may be a hint of control freak in you that is trying to force him to respond when,where, and how you feel he should. Yet, for him, it should come naturally , or allow him to express it it his own way in his own timing, not on your clock and schedule. I have male friends who will purposely not say the "L" wordin order to make the females learn be secure,and content.If that makes sense? I have never heard of women not moving in with a guy because he didn't say the "L" word because basically he has broached the conversation about marriage, kids, and commitment. Please know thousands of women have trusted their heart and feelings for man who didn't say the "L" words as often or ever and things still worked out just fine and they are happily married, a couple,partnered and shacking up faithfully. In the same way there are people who were too poor to buy wedding rings and they were married for years before they could afford to buy rings. Their love for each other never wavered. Just keep in mind its just a word, the reality is in the ACTIONS of a person. Is he loyal, does he keep his word? Is he honest? Can he be faithful? The true test of love is more than just a word. Have faith my friend ,for Love never fails...

There is nothing wrong with being very upfront with him about it. I would wait til things are quiet and relaxed and then just ask him "Is there a reason why you aren't saying you love me?" I think a lot of angst can be avoided with honest communication.

Dont fixate on whether or not his mouth says he loves - what do his actions and behavior say (I seem to recall a saying about actions speak louder than words). Some guys simply AREN'T the type to say "I love you".

I suggest you both read Gary Chapman's "The five Love Languages" and realize the language(s) in which you and he each best express and receive love.

Men like having fun and laughing is the best way to get there, so start joking with him, say you have an 'L' word problem. Say it all the time! Then if he still has no response just ask him. After 3 years together you should be able to say what you want 100% of the time and negotiate with him from there. Just make sure to be kind & considerate when negotiating anything.

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