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He says he doesnt have time for a relationship....?

Published on October 28, 2013 by michellea21

I will try to make this as short as possible. I met this guy at the gym about a month back, my mom introduced me to him once and I thought nothing of it. The next time I saw him he approached me and started talking to me, and hinted at us hanging out. He ended up giving me his number and I got into contact with him. He took me out a week later to the beach and cooked for me and we ended up cuddling at his place. He's a new college student who moved from his home town is in a very bad financial situation. Next time I invited him over to have dinner at my house and he met my family and held my hand. Then the day after he invited me for lunch again and cooked, then we hung out for a while and he held my hand, kissed my cheek and pretty much displayed tons of pda while we went to the store to grab some movies, that night he finally kissed me. We did not sleep together. The next morning I left and he gave me a quick peck. That night he told me he enjoyed my kisses and asked me if he made me uncomfortable. I said no, and asked him if it had something to do with the fact I didn't sleep with him. I proceeded to tell him I didn't do that if I wasn't in a relationship and he replied with "No worries, that's not important to me. I have a lot on my plate, relationships is not something I can be a part of at this time of my life" and I felt the sting, when you realize that he's really saying he doesn't want a relationship wit U. I said I understood and tried to keep my cool by saying we could still hang out. I'm confused as to what to do. Should I back away, does this mean he doesn't like me? I really like him and thought he liked me t, but perhaps he just wanted to get in my pants. like all men.

ANSWERS

He just told you exactly where he is. You said you won't sleep with someone you're not in a relationship with, and he said he doesn't want a relationship. Can you read between the lines? He wanted sex.

I would stick to your values as that's a great one to have and one not many people carry. If you have sex with him now you're only telling him that you're not serious about your values and boundaries and you're giving him permission to cross them and disrespect you because you don't respect yourself.

If he's truly interested, he will continue to pursue you despite the lack of sleeping together. If he doesn't, then you know exactly where his head is: In his pants.

Don't worry, it's super common for guys his age to only want sex and there are lots of "nice" (really just naive) girls willing to give it up. Stay a good girl and the right guy who comes along will treasure you for it. Don't give your pearls to swine.

-YourTango Expert

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