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He came back after the break what to do now?

Published on April 8, 2014 by southerngal

I read an article about what to do when your boyfriend asks for a break and to have some space. I used that advice and left him alone for about 4 days before I recieved a late night text from him. It stated that those few days of not talking has taken a lot of stress off his shoulders, and that he was sorry that it had to come to this. But he still has so much to do and still has a lot going on for him with work all while trying to to keep me happy. He said thank you for giving him the space. The oddest part was him telling me that he still wanted me to be in his life, and that we just need to slow down.

What confuses me is that I dont know what to talk about with him. It wasnt the happy ending i was expecting where he would tell me how much he loves me and is happy to be talking to me again. Instead Im telling him how proud I am of his recent promotion at work.

Hes being very cold! Why does a guy tell you they want you to be in their life still but they act cold?! I told him thank you for eveything that youve done for me,and all I get back is a you dont have to thank me. How can I help him be stress free by not overreacting to his cold responses? I know his work is really getting to him but I have no idea as to how to help him be less stessed. And what does it mean to slow down?

ANSWERS

Maybe you were overwhelming him or smothering him with your affection. I've done that before. It happens. You have to ask yourself is what do YOU want from this relationship? Are YOU happy with it? At this time, he has all the power and has put you into a state of limbo. Ask him what does HE want from you? What does HE want to talk about with you? Are you still going to sleep together? If so, are you the only one he is sleeping with?
I really believe that if a man wants you, no matter what is going on in his life...you will know that he wants you without question. When he needs "space" or "time" or a "break" it's because he isn't really that invested in the relationship and you are not a priority for him. If you think he is worth the wait, then wait it out and see what happens. Otherwise, love yourself, and keep your options open.

Ok, what you should do, is ignore the "advice" given by this toxic person in the first answer.

Let me start off by saying there are a total of zero hidden messages. He flat out tells you his stance and what's what. He wants you in his life, and not "disinterested in a relationship."

What does it mean to slow down? It means to slow down, to not fly through the relationship, to actually get a chance to enjoy each part instead of rocketing through to the next.

No, he isn't being cold, he actually managed to get through a very difficult conversation, and word it just right so you don't burst into tears.

Being apart for 4 days isn't a death sentence. Holy hell girl, you can talk to him about anything you want, with the exception of anything that is SERIOUS. My advice is to steer clear of the following phrases: "Honey, we need to talk...," "Is there something wrong?" "Where is our relationship going?"

At the risk of sound cold, it's best not to talk about the relationship, or your needs, and I'll explain why. Being with your partner shouldn't be work, it should be a fun and enjoyable experience for both of you, not work. And needs, you should both be willing to cater to each other and not feel obligated to fulfill your partners needs. Have fun being with your partner, don't rush headlong to the grave, enjoy where you are at right now in the relationship.

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