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Hall Pass

Published on July 25, 2014 by jm964

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years. I know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with but I have some concerns about the future. I was the first person he ever slept with and I know he is curious about what sex is like with others (how can he not be?). He has told me though that a fling wouldn't ever be worth losing me. So, my question, what do you think about a sexual hall pass? I never thought this would be something I would consider, but I almost feel like I'm holding him back from something he may really want to experience someday. Why shouldn't he have that experience? I did. I have no interest in the hall pass, but i'm wondering if it's ever a good idea, or if it ultimately leads to cheating.

ANSWERS

No. Just NO. The perceived "benefits" of doing this are NOT going to outweigh the damage that infidelity causes. Bringing another person into the relationship sexually will not solve anything. You should not feel guilty or that you are holding him back because you are the only person he has been with. This was standard procedure back in the day. So again, NO.

Hello,

When you say, "Why shouldn't he have that experience?" I am wondering how old both of you are. If the two of you are young, my question would be "Why shouldn't both of you experience LIFE before thinking about getting married?" A person doesn't need sexual experiences with many people to be satisfied that he's making a strong commitment. A person just needs a satisfied heart and perhaps life experience.

As for your question, "What do you think about a sexual hall pass?" Every couple that I know who has done this has regretted it. It has many unintended consequences- none of them good.

Good luck,

Laura Giles, LCSW

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