This is really uncomfortable for me to talk about, let alone write about, but here goes.
My boyfriend and I share a computer and a while ago I came across something that really upset me and honestly freaked me out a lot. My boyfriend had been masturbating to Facebook photos of two people that we know very well. The first girl being one of my closest friends, the other, one of his friends. Now I have no problem with him watching porn, or masturbating. Its something everyone does! But this is different for me. He had done it quite a lot. I couldn't help but ask myself why. He's obviously attracted to these two girls, he then acted on that attraction by specifically seeking out their photos to masturbate to. Can I trust him alone with them? Does this mean he wants to have sex with other women? Do I interest him sexually? How is this supposed to make me feel?
So I confronted him about it and we talked about it. He was extremely apologetic and loving and we worked past it. I made it very clear to him that it would take a little while for him to earn my trust back.
That brings us to a couple weeks ago, I discovered that he had started doing it again. To photos of the same girls again. This time he did it knowing very well how much it would hurt and betray me. I could not believe it. He did it again! We barely made it through the first time. Is masturbating to photos of these two girls more important to him than my feelings or our relationship? I can't look at my friend the same way again and it hurts me. I know that both men and women fantasise about other people when in a relationship and it doesn't mean you don't love your partner. But this is more than thoughts and fantasy, the images he NEEDS to turn him on are of two SPECIFIC girls, photos of their faces! That is so intimate, so personal.
And now, because it happened again I feel like he won't stop he'll just figure out a way not to get caught. It makes me feel like a fool for believing all the things he said to me to first time.
Just to be clear, we are normally very happy. He is a really loving, caring boyfriend and we are very close. We have a great sex life and I really thought he was someone I could trust.
I have no idea what to do. Its so hard to not be emotional when I think about it.
Am I over-reacting? Is this normal? Or am I right to be worried?
He says it meant nothing and that he won't ever do it again but how can I believe that?
While jacking off is a normal activity for a healthy person, doing so over pictures of people you and he know is not. If he just needed to see a given activity, feature, or body part, there is plenty of porn out there to fit every taste imaginable. He's doing this specifically for the people in the picture.
Sorry to say, but that fact that he's doing this (especially since he KEEPS doing this) should be a relationship breaker. Find someone new you can trust.
ANSWER THIS QUESTION
Ok ladies, here comes the bad guy...LOL. My mother is from the old school which means that women from down south never ever let the other women their men had freaked with know they were insecure because as long as he came home every night, paid their rent, and did what he needs to do women from the south say "He where he WANT to be" which mean if he keep coming back to them the other women must not be worth him leaving her for them. Funny shi#$% here is your dude haven't gone to sleep with nan other female. You obsessing on controlling what he does with his male species, jacking off is a whole another issue cause its his "Johnson"(penis) and if you playing Sybil with two personalities (like women are prone to do at any given time) just conveniently left out any of your faults, he has a right to pleasure himself at home instead of going out into the streets and finding nasty trifling hoe's to do that with, and without a condom if he was as distrustful as you claiming him to be. I think you need to get some self worth because it could be much worse. I know of females who have three dildo's of different sizes and even if they don't need a VISUAL as your dude uses for his pleasuring himself you ned to separate yourself from making him out to be a cheater, or claiming he is conspiring to premeditate to get down with the chicks; that is a far stretch. Fantasy and reality are two different beast and just because a guy use pics that have maybe "EYES" that are seductive in a picture that makes him want to nutt on, or women who have "LIPS" that re attractive to masturbate on doesn't make them women sexually attractive as a whole because when some women open their mouth to speak all attraction is gone...LOL. you need to learn to be secure with yourself because even if you dumb him and act like your devastated and emotionally crushed it doesn't mean he will ever date or freak with these two people in the pics.. What sins do you have? Are you perfect? Do he need to be indebted to you for life in order for you to FEEL SECURE? Well you can find another dude but wherever you go "THERE YOU ARE", men will forever be men and I would just suggest you teach him how to clear the cache and browser history out of respect to you, be content and secure and do what you do in the bedroom where he has no energy to bust off no where..lol. Things you can control will ruin you not him, because all the speculating is getting you sick while he doesn't chase you to beg you for sex or to get n the mood. He is not losing sleep at night and neither should you. Harmless males play
ANSWER THIS QUESTION
Some of you women use "TRUST" as loosely based word on anything you can't control. Yet the same women are not trying to put themselves in the sexual positions the men want to pleasure him in ways that turn him on.Its hypocritical for anyone to get on here and tell people to break off their relationship based on "TRUST"- the word and the circumstances are so AMBIGUOUS that no crime has been committed. Etiquette and political correctness, yeah dude is ruffling his girls feathers and her insecurity is showing, that is no good reason to leave a committed relationship. I don't know any woman that is giving up sex 7 days a week 5 times a day to satisfy the male thirst, so ladies stop being hypocrites. The issue is about CONTROL. We men can't tell women what to do with their breast and whatever bra you ladies want to wear you do so even if we reject because it makes you feel sexy right or you claim that bra is styled for a certain shirt or dress. Well men are the same way with his body part, if he feels like beating it to feel sexually stimulating he can do this. When women start wearing a Nuns habit and covering their body then we can start dictating what people should be attracted to or sexually aroused by. Hell, as long as dude still gets a hard on and not doing crack cocaine or bringing home endless std's alot of women will have him gladly...Clear the cache and browser and keep it moving. I wouldn't even press that dude to keep apologizing trying to illicit GUILT, SHAME and EMBARRASSMENT because it it sooooo petty ladies. There are 15 women to every guy, he will have no problem replacing you...no disrespect,guys are not a saints and neither are you chaste and virtuous ladies...lol
ANSWER THIS QUESTION
Back in biblical time men were allowed and accustomed to have concubines, many wives and there was never a need to masturbate given the number of men to women and the fact that women would not dare to try to make a man feel less than,impure, or like he created a crime. Cause if she did he could refuse to have sex with her and have a different woman in his bed every single night. alot of you women have gotten it twisted over the centuries because you fail to read or open a Bible. Their are still religions who practice the Man being king of the household and women being plentiful, where the woman can't go out and sex whomever she wants while the man has his choice
ANSWER THIS QUESTION