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Do men need to be in trouble to realise that they are lucky to be with a good genuine woman?

Published on March 26, 2013 by alfazoe

My man and I are together for only 7 months. He is the kind of man that have it all. I always told him that he will realise that Im genuine with him and that he is lucky to have me the day where he will be or sick or in trouble. That day came faster than I could even think. He told me "Im lucky to have you in my life i know how you care for me" and now he is all different with me (he was nice with me before but I always had the feeling the to him I was a nice cute girl but that I was replaceable...). Im happy and not happy that he told me this and that he radically changed since he got in trouble. Does things had really to go bad for men to realise that they are with a good woman?

ANSWERS

First, please don't generalize from one man to all men. As a psychologist, I would like to suggest that you examine how you engage with a man so you can make changes in yourself that may help you in a love relationship. If you depend on a man valuing you because he has developed a need, that is temporary and cannot be counted on. You are looking at a small piece of the pie of attachment. Please read Create New Love in order to see the whole pie. And then bake it for yourself! --Anne Stirling Hastings, Ph. D.

If you told me I was lucky to have you, I'd be wondering how we're ever going to fit all three of us (you, me , and your ego) into a room.

As for the change in his behavior towards you, it sounds like the difference between a girl he just considers a date, and one he's thinking of spending his life with. Whether or not this is good is up to you. A lot may depend on exactly what kind of trouble he got into.

There's no doubt that facing a challenge does make us appreciate the people in our life --i.e. those who remain supportive when others fade away. This is true for both men and women, tho some men don't seem to appreciate having "a good woman" until they personally need one, especially guys like yours who "have it all."

If your boyfriend is more appreciative of you now (after getting into trouble), don't discount that. Your choice to stand by your man demonstrates your strength and your commitment to the relationship, no matter whether he could see it before or not. Let his new ability to see the value of "a good woman" deepen your connection as you move forward together. If he treats you right and stays out of trouble from now on, let yourself enjoy it to the max!

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