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boyfriend is too selfish!

Published on May 3, 2013 by amelya87

I love my boyfriend so much but he's so selfish and such a pain in the ass to deal with. He works at an oil rig for a month and off for a month. Right now he's offshore on the rig, when he's on the rig he's in a bad mood a lot cause the work is stressful, and these past days he told me he's in a very bad mood and that means he doesn't wanna talk to people including me. I think that good communication is the key to maintain a good relationship. But he's just different. Also he's a person who is into his own thing a lot like traveling and photography, he has a travel blog. So yesterday I didn't talk to him cause I thought he was busy AND in a bad mood but at he was on twitter updating about his travel and liking peoples statuses on Facebook. I couldn't help but emailed him saying "Is it wrong to feel hurt when my bf is on twitter and FB a lot but didn't say a single hi to me for the whole day?" And he replied "I was brought by independent parents that did their "own thing" a lot. I'm not good at constant communication especially when I'm in a bad mood" This is one of our problems. I'm sad a lot because of this character of him, but I love him so much. Do you think he's not that into me anymore?

ANSWERS

If someone is with you for an entire month then possibly that may be what keeps you together; Which is he needs a break to be himself without you trying to supervise,dictate and tell him what he should be doing because you are entitled to your opinion. The problem here is your not content with respect his feelings so you make everything about YOU, when its not all about you. If a man is on a rig and that work is extremely grueling and afterwards he is completely just tired mentally and physically and your seemingly upset that he doesn't BOSS easily so you could MAKE him speak to you when you want. This is a perfect example of a person trying to create drama when there is none. F.Y.I- it may a be a blessing that he is away from you for a period of time so he may have a different viewpoint of how he likes to unwind and it may not be talking with you and if its not an emergency you shouldn't be so controlling. Obviously bills are being paid and what you want to talk about while he's away is not that important. It is unfair for you to suggest that just because he is using his down time to relieve stress on the internet (facebook,cnn,) wherever that just because he didn't say "HI" you've got some chip on your shoulder? Really? just because he didn't want to share his day, complain to you, or confide in you that he is not prioritizing you? I think I can fairly say you may need to get you a life, like join groups, book clubs while he is away and let him reach out when he feels a need. The more you get activities to so the less you will feel the need to create problems where there are none. I would almost think that when he comes home to you its supposed to be a vacation, but if you are nagging so much then his vacation is really at work and that could be draining him mentally,spiritually and psychologically. Give him his space and stop trying to parent him, he's a grown man. If you are not content then he shouldn't have to make himself emotionally available when he needs his mind on his job and the things he has to do. People need "ME" time (time to themselves) and thats him being "SELF FULL" not selfish.

To rephrase Cordero, you are an insufferable b**ch. I hope that he is getting blown while in port. I also hope that he has the foresight to dump you as a clinging loser. Have a great day!

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