I will try to make this as short as possible. I've been dating this guy for a little over 3 months. He is the sweetest man I have ever been with. We had started talking about the future and he said he was ready to move forward with our relationship and wanted to meet my son. I waited a few weeks after his request and had a small gathering with friends to make it a little easier all the way around. He enjoyed himself, we had time for just the 3 of us after the other guests left. We played games, laughed a ton and just had a great time. I talked to him later that night and he was thanking me saying he had a great time and was excited. I noticed as the week went on he was texting and calling less, so once the weekend came around I asked if something was wrong. He told me he was sorry, he though he was ready. Being confused I asked if he was trying to tell me he didn't want to date anymore and he responded by saying that he was trying to piece that together. I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he replied, "no, not yet." I told him I could give him some space and he had no response. That was 9 days ago and I haven't heard from him at all. I tried calling him over the weekend and still no response. Do I assume that that was his way of breaking up? Could he really just be taking this long to 'think'? I don't want to pester him, but really need closure if he wants to end things. How long do I wait to see if he contacts me? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. This situation is breaking my heart.
We call them "Ready made families" when women have children. I can't tell you what to do but I would suggest you not PERSONALIZE or INTERNALIZE this. Its natural for men and women who want to date someone to ask themselves where would they fit in in situations like these or would they be better off with a woman without children. It could be things unrelated to your child, or the way you tried to "PRESENT" the child,friends, and family that struck a bad cord with him. Have you ever considered that? Some women try to over-think and make things more complex then they need to be and he probably sensed you were trying "too Hard" and made things more complex then they needed to be. Many guys have dated women with children and typically its not a problem short term. Now if you created a vacuum effect that tried to undermine his intelligence then he has every right to be offended. sounds like you tried to make a pretty picture of things and possibly complicated the relationship by going out of your way paint your own picture with props that weren't needed or desired. Who advised you to " make it a little easier" to put him on DISPLAY? sounds like there was more than one thing that made him feel like you pulled a stunt on him and this gathering was just too much EXTRA. That term you used about " making it a little easier" is very suspect because it seems he didn't have a choice in this production you put on. Typically it is never this much drama associated with incorporating a new man into your life when you have a child; so from now on out i would just keep things simple and opt for the "less is more" approach. A simple trip to Mcdonalds, a movie and/or an amusement park would have sufficed. If you told people(friends and family) your business prior to his arrival and someone broached it to him with you unaware by accident it could very well make him run...lol. Yeah it hurts to feel rejected, or ignored but people have a right to not feel pressured to give you an explanation either way because he may think its irrelevant if he put on a brave face and tolerated the show you out on. Dating is difficult without children so don't expect a response and just continue dating my friend. Many females refuse to date good men because they guy has a child and the women fear conflict with the child's mothers. Life goes on, don't stress it and over-analyze yourself
Yes, ready made families can overwhelm many men. Usually, other people's children are not a problem, but they can be? Sometimes the child can resent the new love interest, particularly if they feel attention is being taken away from them. Every case is different so be patient and understanding with this man in your life. If he decides to leave because of your child, grasp the relationship would never have worked anyway and this seeming premature ending has probably saved you a lot of pain in the long run.Let go and see what happens, but don't try to control the situation.