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Are we on the same page?

Published on July 9, 2013 by lbt8506

My boyfriend and I will have been together 1 year as of August 1st. We've previously talked about marriage ect. Well, he is currently in school full time and he lives on campus while I live in an apartment. I do have a 6 yr old little girl who loves my boyfriend to death vice versa. During past conversations he said "we will be married I say in 2014." We were having a discussion last night with some of our close friends and he said " My plan is to finish college, pay off my debts then get married" Pay off all of his debt? That may take YEARS. Do I ask him about it or just leave it be? I want him to finish school and I encourage him to do so. I don't know why I feel like I am rushing it, partly because my Father has lung cancer and is not doing well and because I can't wait to be his wife someday. Is that wrong for me to feel this way? Sorry I feel that I am rambling I just have so many questions and need input from people. Thank you!

ANSWERS

You are entitled to a straight answer on the matter if you have discussed marriage in the past and have legitimate long term goals for your future together. Ask him politely but firmly what he meant that night and how he sees the next five years playing out. Make a plan for your future together. Remember to be patient and respectful of his plans, even if it’s not what you want to hear.

Sometimes when a person is avoiding confrontation, he/she will bring up a topic in front of others as a way of "getting it out there". Was your guy doing this? You will only know if you ask him. What's wrong with asking him? "About the other night, when you said we'd get married after you pay off all your debt... that's the first time I'd heard you say that. I was expecting we would get married when ____." Fill in the blank with what you were expecting. It's an easy way to get the conversation started. Good luck!

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