YOUR VOTE

1 0

3 ANSWERS

Am I being used or just over-thinking things?

Published on May 17, 2013 by marbar

I met a guy on a dating site and we've been dating for 3 months now. Things are really great when I'm with him and I feel like he cares a lot about me, but I'm beginning to feel like it's becoming more about sex than an actual relationship. He mentioned he had commitment issues at the beginning, and I tend to get a little bit obsessive so I've been trying to keep that down in order to not scare him away. I really think I'm falling for him but I'm not too sure how he feels about me. When the relationship began I was always getting texts and calls from him but now it seems like I initiate most of the texts. We've also never gone anywhere, instead we sit in his apartment playing video games. At the beginning he also kept mentioning me meeting his friends but that hasn't seemed to happen yet and when we do plan something he somehow gets out of it last minute. I don't know if I'm just over-thinking things which is something I often do or is he actually just using me for sex? We act all coupley when we are out in public and he does call me his girlfriend but I'm still unsure.

ANSWERS

Honey, you are in the driver's seat. Put this man in a headlock and drag him to wherever you want him. If he challenges you, threaten to drop him like a day old turd. You will quickly see who is in charge.

The best way to get a a guy away from his video games and out of his surroundings is to entice him out...lol The challenge is for you to offer to treat him and take him to Chinese,Thai food,gyro's ,beers at a bar, a free zoo day or just " Set plans and make appointments" that you can't cancel if money is already spent. We guys are doof balls, we will sit in our house with sweats on and goof around all day and have sex just because its a mutual agreement. Please stop acting like a victim. You enjoy the sexual intimacy but now you want to use the sex as a hindrance to the lack of social life you desire in the relationship(yet they are two different things. You didn't disclose your age or if either of your financial responsibilities(student loans,no job etc) so it is hard to say that plays a part. Guys rarely ever refuse when a female is teating them- so unless you have different motives and your eyeing his money and want him to splurge on you so you won't feel like you gave up sex too soon- and now he's a cheapskate who only wants sex- You have to live with that...No disrespect, but oftentimes women are not putting up for gas, they are conditioned to make withdrawals on guys- meaning he pays for everything while the women spends every single penny on herself. I was lucky where females I dated had the guts to buy me a shirt and some jeans and then say don't wear the clothes until we went out lol, so I was gently edged into getting a haircut and thus making a habit of planning a set "date night" every Friday or Saturday. If you have yet to meet his friends don't sweat it, introduce him to date-night group get together's with your friends and slowly you can merge groups. We guys need you women to help us organize and structure to prioritize, we just don't want you to use the sex as a crutch because you lack assertive clarification and problem solving skills to bargain and mutually agree on meeting each person's need for a balanced relationship. you can have sex on Monday and get a quickie on Friday right before date night- shouldnt be a problem, but just be sincere that you want to be more social. The sex shouldn't be used for you to do this

Ha! This is weird because I'm pretty much in exactly the same situation, minus the video games. & as I'm also the over thinking type I really can't seem to trust my intuition on this one. I'm thinking that you just have to be open and ask him.

ANSWER THIS QUESTION