Guve her some Rose and take her out eat and show her arond town

You are obviously a devoted mother. You deserve happiness and any man should want to be with someone so loving and devoted. I would say give it a try. You may get a few jerks and it may take a bit of time but there is always going to be SOMEONE out there meant for you.

This is a hard one, but you can still date. Even though you want a serious relationship make sure you have fun first. Theres no need to mention right away of these disablities unless it comes up. If he ask do you have kids and asking questions like how old they are, it may be good to mention it then, but I don't think this should be bought up unless it came up. There are some people in the world that are not superficial. Let him see your personality first because if you told him about the children first, he may run not knowing the extent and never get to know you. If you are thinking about your children, you will not even be able to show him who "you" are. Many mothers get so caught in their children life they forget who they really are. My middle child have autistic characteristics that he displays and I have 3 children, my man took them right in and shows so much love to them and even knows how to deal with it. And its amazing how many men I dated could care less that I had 3 small children and one of them has a disablity. One guy told me, I was one of kind and he really wanted to pursue a serious relationship, I was astounded. I was able to pick my man, just show your confidence and relax, go have fun!

I agree you need to start dating.

Simplelight, I think the fact that you're asking this question with all of the honesty that you're presenting shows that you're capable and mature enough to find a good man who can treat you and your family well. Sometimes when people start looking for a man they're looking for a savior or for someone to take part of the burden (and kids at any age do bring an additional stress element to a new relationship-- issues or not). But it doesn't sound like that's what you're doing.

I think if you approach dating with the same integrity you're posting here that you'll find a good man to date. How that happens and to what extent he's capable and willing to accept your kids does depend on the individual man. I think Rings of Saturn is right, it all depends on who you find.

Because you have two little people who need you, your job has to be screening the people you date to make sure they're healthy and good for your kids as well as for you. I have no doubt that you'll do a good job at that after reading your post. Keep posting and best of luck finding a mate.

I believe with all my heart that there is someone out there just for you who will accept you and your girls regardless of their disabilities. Just as I believe there is someone out there who will accept mine. Don't EVER give up! Keep your faith and hang in there. God Bless You.

I understand I am a single mom with two boys(one is ADD w/ oppositional defiance, the other is ADHD w/ broad spectrum autism) and they can make it very hard to meet someone. In addition to worrying about the usual dating as a single parent stuff, you have to worry about your children's individual needs too, and how a guy will react to them. It just makes everything more difficult and I will be the first to admit there are times when it really sucks(from a dating perspective).

But my advice (aside from support groups), if you have the means to date, go for it. Just be up front and lay it on the line with the guys-this is how my life is, I am not looking for a casual relationship and I just want you to know where I stand before we start dating. This way it gives him the opportunity to say up front I can't handle this or I've never dealt with anything like that before lets just see what happens, or he maybe like RingsofSaturn and be completely cool with it. I would think that most would appreciate the honesty. But be forewarned that it, like many other things in our lives, may take longer to find a decent guy who can handle your situation.

You should never feel guilty about giving yourself a shot at love. If you dated someone and told him about your children and thinks it's a deal breaker then he is not worth it. The suggestion of tbone is really something to consider. Join a community or a support group where you can relate and feel comfortable. Start from there, build a network and develop friendship. Relax, be yourself and you will find the right person for you.

You know... it all depends. Yes. The cards are stacked against you in the dating scene, but it all depends on who you find!

If you were out there in my area, and you posted an ad to date me, and if I knew ahead of time that you had children (Bipolar and Aspberger Syndrome), it would not bother me at all! I would date you and I would marry you, too, if we managed a mutual "in-love" connection.

You see, although I am "ok"... I come from a family of blind siblings. My mother was blind, my father was sighted. I am only the third of 7 siblings sighted. 4 others are like my mother who are blind. Therefore, I have been around other types of disabilities and I am not bothered by them in the least! In fact, I am comfortable around them and I am understanding and compassionate of them!

I wish you could move to Grand Haven, MI where i live and I would help you! I would date you in a second!

It would be my guess that you are One very compassionate woman who is humbled by your Life's experiences! ...just as I am.

So, you see. It all depends on who it is that sees your ad or who knows you. If it is a man who is not familiar with disabilities, then they just aren't going to "get it." You will have nothing in common with them and it will likely become a battle... meaning, that as normal as the man might be, the difficulty you will experience with his not-understanding will be equal to HIM having a disability, too! He will be ignorant, which will lead to just another unfortunate struggle.

So... should you date?
Yes! You should! But, make sure the man you seek knows about what is facing him so you find someone like me, for example, who can ABSOLUTELY handle it... and is, in fact, enthusiastic about it! ..I am not a man who is afraid of it or turned off by those disabilities. I can actually see how it would bring someone like you and I even closer together... by sharing something familiar and in common.

I'd be willing to bet that you do not live anywhere near me. I regret that. I'm sorry! I wish we did.

Please do not fear. Please date. Just be honest up front, and try to be patient. It is going to take time.

I agree with tbone, join a support group with other parents, or start one with parents of other special needs kids at your daughter's school. Start back in by building some friendships and then maybe ask a few people to set you up on dates. The right person won't be put off by your daughters' unique needs.

If there are any support groups for parents with special needs children, you should join them (if you haven't already). You can meet people who already have a common interest as you, and will be understanding to your situation. As far as dating, I would say that you should try to forge friendships first. That way, there is less pressure on the parties involved, and you can learn more about people in their natural state. They are more relaxed, and their true feelings and intentions are somewhat easier to see.