Women Reveal Their Best Kept Secrets For Keeping Their Marriages Happy
They live in different homes
Radomir Jordanovic / Pexels Marriages and relationships are hard to maintain. It takes love, empathy, compassion, and compromise. Even then, the divorce rate in the United States ranges between 40 and 50%.
Every relationship is different and what works for one couple may not be the best option for the next.
One person took to the subreddit, r/AskWomen, to ask, “What is something you do with your significant other that other people find weird?”
Women shared all the things they do to keep their relationships alive.
We’ve all heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but one woman doesn’t subscribe to that train of thought.
One woman said she spends every waking hour with her partner.
She wrote, “We actually like each other and love spending most of, if not, all our time together. We’ve been that way since we started dating in high school/for 20 years. People find it odd we are inseparable after all this time.”
Surprisingly, many co-signed her and her husband’s close attachment. Someone posted, “Very similar to my husband and I. We've both said that we're the only people that don't drain our energy.”
“We both WFH (work from home) and split up his giant office to build my office and sometimes we feel too far apart, so I'll take my laptop and work from a bean bag next to him.”
They might be onto something. Researchers from the Minnesota Population Center found that married people are almost twice as happy when they are with their spouse as when they are not.
Communication is key.
One woman shared a strange ritual she and her hubby partake in. She shared, “We make a lot of weird noises back and forth at each other. Usually when we are home alone.”
“It's just like a 'touching base' thing to acknowledge the other's presence or check-in. But sometimes I forget we are in public and bust out a turkey gobble at the bar or in the middle of the grocery store.”
Couples having their own private language is not an uncommon occurrence. According to The Cut, many couples develop their own lexicons based on a mutual understanding or inside jokes.
Some couples refuse to fight over the covers.
Another Redditor shared the trick to keeping nighttime arguments at bay. She posted, “Use separate blankets at night. No more stealing covers from the other!”
The woman that co-signed the idea shared her own experience, “We do this! I need something heavy, and he needs something lighter because he’s always hot. Has worked beautifully for us!”
Many agreed and shared that they do the same. One person offered a fun fact saying, “I’m Finnish and separate covers are pretty common in Finland, so I always want to do this with my partner. My English boyfriend is not a fan though.”
Some choose to have a sleepover in the guest bedroom.
“We have a guest bedroom. Sometimes we sleep in the guest bedroom instead of our bedroom. It’s like a little “sleepover” feeling that’s sort of fun.”
Married life can get mundane. Changing your environment from time to time can liven things up and renew the spark between you and your partner.
Others move into separate homes.
“We live apart but within walking distance from each other. I think it's great and works really well for us, but people get so confused by the concept.”
It sounds strange but living apart as a married couple is becoming more commonplace. According to the Wall Street Journal, 13% of newlyweds live apart, up from 6% in 1980.
One couple cooks and eats separate meals.
One woman shared an interesting practice. She commented, “My husband and I eat completely different meals even when we eat together at home.”
“I’ve had friends in the past act like this is insane, but we have very different appetites and tastes, so we cook all our own meals. We still eat/cook together most nights, but very rarely do we eat the same thing.”
When people get married, they automatically give up parts of themselves to make the relationship work. Who says we have to eat the same thing our spouse eats every single day?
Others prioritize dates.
“We’ve been told on more than one occasion that it’s weird when we go to Starbucks and just chat for 2-3 hours. We do this probably monthly.”
The woman that shared her and her husband’s propensity for sitting in the local Starbucks and talking instead of just doing it at home said people just could not understand their logic.
Every person has unique preferences and needs that make them feel loved and protected.
Whatever a couple’s habits that keep them connected are, it’s important that both parties are seen and heard. When everyone is on the same page, marriage can be a breeze.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.