Man Tells Pregnant Woman He Has 'Bad Feet & Knees' After Refusing To Give Up His Seat So She Could Sit

People are taking his side saying that she should 'have brought her own chair.'

pregnant woman seat aita Reddit, Anchy / Getty Images via Canva, Sklo Studio / Shutterstock
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When it comes to comfort in public spaces, there is often a challenging question of priority. Who deserves a seat more: a person with physical discomfort or a pregnant woman?

The age-old practice of yielding a seat to someone in need is a sign of courtesy and respect. It can be difficult to make a call when two people have legitimate reasons for needing a seat.

A recent discussion on Reddit’s “r/AmItheA--hole,” a subreddit dedicated to people asking others if they acted appropriately in a situation, captures this dilemma. A Reddit user who goes by the username Constant_Tune4461 refused to give up his seat to a pregnant woman due to his own health issues.

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He told a pregnant woman he had ‘bad feet and knees’ after she asked for his seat.

He arrived early to his nephew's high school graduation, hoping to snag a front-row seat. Equipped with his folding camping chair and headphones, he prepared to wait it out in the queue.

   

   

“About 40 minutes before the school would let us inside, a pregnant woman got next to me since somebody let her in line,” he wrote. He assumed the “somebody” was her husband.

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After a few minutes, she asked if she could borrow his chair, explaining she would have trouble standing for the wait. He politely declined, citing his bad feet and knees as the reason.

Despite denying her request, the woman asked him again after a short while. Again, he refused. Unhappy with his response, the woman urged her partner to speak with him. Her husband did so politely, but once again, the man stood his ground.

“[I] suggested she could wait in their car or just sit [o]n the ground,” he wrote. This suggestion didn’t sit well with the couple. “At this point, the husband directly called me an a--hole but left me alone,” he wrote.

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Many people replied to the thread supporting the poster, and claimed that the pregnant woman was acting entitled.

Some claimed that the pregnant woman was acting “entitled,” with one person calling her out for refusing to take “no” for an answer.

“You told her no, repeatedly. And then has to tell her husband the same. The nerve of those entitled people,” they wrote.

“The entitlement of some people is insane,” another added. “She and her partner know she is pregnant and can’t stand long so they should have prepared better.”

However, many of those who sided with the man also sympathized with the pregnant woman.

“You refused to give up the chair you brought because you needed it due to your own health conditions. I do feel for the woman, but she and her partner should have brought their own chairs,” one person replied.

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man refuses to give up seat to pregnant womanPhoto: Reddit

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Some countered that people should always adhere to the idea of giving up their seat to someone who is pregnant.

“She’s pregnant. The rule is, if you’re seated and a pregnant person, a disabled person (who appears to have difficulty standing), or an elderly individual is standing, you offer your seat. It’s basic courtesy,” one person wrote.

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Though, someone pointed out that it was the man’s “personal seat,” and he had his own reasons for not being able to stand for long. The subreddit gave the post the official “Not the A--hole” badge, declaring he acted appropriately.

According to a 2011 study published in the National Library of Medicine, as many as 90% of pregnant women are found to have back pain. It is recommended that expectant mothers should avoid “prolonged walking or standing.”

So for those without health conditions, it’s always a nice thing to offer a seat.

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Ethan Cotler is a writer and frequent contributor to YourTango living in Boston. His writing covers entertainment, news, and human interest stories.