5 Oddly Specific Red-Flag Phrases Men Say — And What They Really Mean
Bye.
Gregory Hayes on Unsplash When you've got it bad for someone, it's tempting to shut off logic and ignore the questionable.
You may want to focus on the good (He called! He asked me to dinner! He picked up the check!) and glaze over all that happened in between. We're very happy he figured out how to use the phone and that you're eating well, but listen up to some of the verbal red flags dribbling out of his mouth between bites.
If he utters any of the below, view it in the same vein as a "low battery" warning on your iPhone. Indeed, your listening experience should likely be nearing an end.
The five red-flag phrases men say that should make you run:
1. I hate making plans
Translation: I don't want to make plans with you.
The man who is unwilling to commit to a movie a week in advance is the same man who isn't so certain you'll actually be in his life next week. We've heard all sorts of clever ways to justify a no-plans philosophy. Some even sound downright noble: "I'm a hippie, I don't like constraints"; "I'm moody, it's me not you"; "I believe in keeping things open."
Wonderful for them, but rather childish and inconsiderate (even on a friendly level) for anyone else involved. This alone speaks volumes about his Big Picture plans not only for himself but especially for you.
2. All the girls I've dated were just too much
Translation: He isn't willing to compromise.
We know our kind can overreact. Overanalyze. Cry at the wrong times and get all worked up over things that, perhaps, were nothing. But beware the man who says all the girls (but not you, of course!) he's dated were crazy.
You may initially delude yourself into thinking you're cooler than the average chick and have the ability to melt that steely exterior with your no-frills stylings, but sooner or later you too are likely to have demands that are just going to be "too much" for him.
3. I never go after hot girls
Translation: He's lazy and insecure.
We were once on a first date with a guy who let it slip that he doesn't date the "hot" girls because they're too much work. The "second-rate" ones, he said, are often the ones he pursues.
While our egos winced, his lack of confidence to go after what he views as first-rate (and his obvious insecurity) turned us off more than the insult.
4. I don't really have any male friends
Translation: If I haven't seen my female friends naked yet, I plan on it.
Either he's gay or wants to sleep with his female company. If he hasn't already slept with all his "friends," that is. You decide. We hate to be this black and white. We really do. Certainly, there are some men who prefer the company of women (and why wouldn't he?), but be very careful.
A few female friends here and there, even a female best buddy is fine, but if he can't name a single guy he spends time with, he likely has ulterior motives.
5. I'm not the boyfriend type
If he doesn't think of himself as boyfriend material, take his word for it! No translation needed.
Melissa Noble is a writer, editor, and creative director whose work on pop culture, celebrity, and relationships has appeared in New York Magazine, the Frisky, and OK Magazine.