The One Thing A Husband Should Never Say To His Wife
Trust us, gentlemen. It's just not a good idea.
WESTOCK PRODUCTIONS / Shutterstock When you're married, making mistakes comes with the job. And you might say or do something that can rub your wife the wrong way.
However, there's one phrase you should definitely avoid using if you want to keep the peace. So, what's this phrase, and why is it such a big deal?
In a TikTok post, relationship podcaster Jimmy Knowles discusses the one phrase you should never say and just why it's so damaging.
The One Thing A Husband Should Never Say To His Wife
Jimmy starts with, "I no longer say that I'm helping her with the dishes because our words matter."
When we tell our wife that we're "helping her," it reinforces the notion that all domestic work is her responsibility.
This means that when you do decide to help, you're going beyond your role in the household and should be praised for it.
And while both partners need to appreciate each other, even for small things, Knowles says, "Be careful about thinking that you're owed a thank you for doing a mutual chore."
Think about it, every day your wife cooks and cleans. Every day your wife helps the kids with their homework and takes care of them when they're sick. Is she ever thanked consistently for her hard work?
Nine times out of ten, she isn't appreciated every day for her contributions to the household. So, why should you expect it?
Again, this doesn't mean don't show appreciation to one another. But feeling entitled to appreciation when you rarely show it to your wife can be insulting and hurtful to her.
However, this isn't just a men's issue. Women also do this too, says Knowles. But the idea here is to figure out which chores you both share and which ones are just one person's job.
When you have that, then it'll be easier to hold one another accountable. Plus, you'll now know how to support your partner when they're having a stressful day.
But how do you figure out how to divide chores fairly? How do you balance everything and work better as a team?
The NPR looks at the different ways you can split up chores with your partner.
The Best Ways To Divide Chores With Your Partner
1. List all the chores out.
You can't divide up chores if you don't know how many there are in the first place. So, sit down with your partner and grab a notebook.
Spend an hour discussing and writing down the chores you need to complete in a typical week. Further, don't be afraid to cut off chores that don't make sense for your household.
2. Assign chores.
Next, make a list of who usually does which chores throughout the week. As you do this, you might notice that one partner has been doing more than the other.
Don't freak out and take a deep breath. Find ways to split the chores evenly in a way that makes sense for your schedules.
If there's a task that neither of you likes doing, think about doing it together during a set time.
3. Be responsible.
Once you've figured everything out, put the list on the fridge. Take responsibility for your own chores, and if needed, set reminders on your phone to make sure you get them done.
Feeling overwhelmed? Feel free to split up your own chores throughout the week. Remember, you don't have to complete all your chores on the same day.
If you've used this phrase before, it's not the end of the world. We all mess up, and that's okay. What matters is that we can admit to our mistakes and work as a team to fix them.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.