Men With This Specifically Sweet Trait Make Better Partners, According To Research
Here's why you want to date a specific type of nice guy.
fizkes | Getty Images Conventional dating wisdom pretty much claims that women think with their heads and their hearts while men think with their man parts. But new research from Johns Hopkins University suggests that when it comes to intimacy, this couldn't be further from the truth.
According to a 2011 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, the majority of satisfied men also possess a high amount of empathy, meaning that most guys would rather put your needs before their own. That's right — sensitive men are better in bed.
So, ladies, your beau deserves a little more credit when it comes to intimacy and bedroom activities. Take that, naysayers.
Researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health looked at surveys from 3,200 participants. They answered questions designed to measure autonomy, self-esteem, and empathy.
Unsurprisingly, 87 percent of men reported finishing most of the time during intimacy, compared to 47 percent of women. However, it also turns out that more men reported pleasuring their partners than women.
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In fact, researchers told LiveScience that young men are more likely than women to consistently relish acts in which the goal is to satisfy their partner. Do you know what this means? The more giving your man is in bed, the better the intimacy (and your love life) will be. Who says nice guys finish last?
The researchers also measured the participant's satisfaction with the level of control they felt they had during intimacy and how it made them feel. They based this on the frequency of finishing as well as the overall enjoyment of giving and receiving.
Ready for a shocker? They actually found that while women with high amounts of these traits reported better love lives, only empathy made a positive difference in the love lives of men.
Wait, there's more.
Autonomy contributed to the frequency of intimacy — while higher self-esteem was correlated with the enjoyment of giving — but neither led to better intimacy in general. So your man's sensitivity to your needs essentially "initiates a positive feedback cycle," meaning that your response to his generosity motivates him to please you again and again. And again.
Empathy isn't simply about being sensitive, though. Take this, for instance. A person who is easily offended might be sensitive, but he's not necessarily empathetic. True empathy means being able to understand and respond to someone else's emotions and perspective.
You can identify with their struggles, their joys, and their anxieties. So the next time you try gauging a guy's prowess, focus less on his swagger and more on his ability to listen and open up.
Denise Ngo is a freelance web writer and editor specializing in love, dating, and relationships. She is the Managing Editor of Loverish and a writer for PopSci.