Married People Share The 'Disgusting Habits' They Overlook From Their Spouses And It's A Miracle They're Still Together
From kitchen messes to sleep annoyances and some truly bizarre, definitely gross bathroom habits.
Diego Cervo / Canva Pro "You know how people have these little habits that get you down?" a character in the musical "Chicago" says before describing how she murdered her husband for snapping his gum.
Hopefully, none of us have taken our ire over our partner's peccadilloes to quite that extreme. But in a post on Reddit, people shared the things about their spouses that most drive them nuts, and suffice to say, you're not the only one who's had it with your guy or gal.
Married people shared their spouses' disgusting habits and the other annoying things they regularly overlooked.
Experts like therapists say that becoming annoyed by your partner's little habits isn't actually a reflection on their cloddishness or your inability to be accepting and forgiving. Rather, getting irked by the little things is basically inevitable if you're with a person long enough.
A post on Reddit perfectly illustrated how this works. A user asked fellow married people what "disgusting habits" they've had to look past in order to stay married to their husband or wife.
And while the answers were often deeply annoying if not downright vile, most of them agreed that they love their partners anyway, despite the monsters they've become!
Sleeping habits were a major bugaboo among married people.
If the way your partner sleeps makes you want to club them over the head with the nightstand, you are definitely not alone. Several Redditors had some notes about their spouses' sleeping habits.
"Some people look peaceful when they sleep, my spouse looks like she needs an ambulance," one man wrote. "Just limbs and hair everywhere, contorted positions like she fell off the roof, drool, and as much as she denies it, snoring."
He added that ultimately, he just thought her sleeping was funny. But others were not laughing about their partners.
"At least she sleeps," another user wrote in response. "My husband has waking dreams and snores, not sure which is worse being trodden on as he escapes hedgehogs or listening to him snoring so loud you can hear him downstairs."
Both are disasters and if it's me, I'm filing for divorce.
Messing up the kitchen had many people, especially wives, ready to tear their partners limb from limb.
"The husband's art of making a sandwich while dirtying half the dishes" was one woman's greatest pet peeve. I'm personally offended by this because my entire collection of dishes and utensils is now dirty from making a salad for lunch. Do I know why or how? No. Is it my fault? ALSO NO.
Thankfully, I'm single and don't have to answer to anyone but the dust mites living along the baseboards, but others on Reddit aren't so lucky. One woman wrote, "he's like living with a poltergeist. My cabinets are constantly left open." (Okay I do this too. Seriously, gentlemen, what is our deal???)
"I thought I was alone in this," another person wrote. "I'm constantly closing drawers, cabinets and closets." A woman added, "[my boyfriend] left the hall closet open one night and I ran nose first into it when I went to use the bathroom at 3 a.m. in the dark."
I gotta stay single forever I guess because I just realized every closet door in my home is at least ajar at this very moment.
But some people's spouses' habits were truly gross … and astonishingly weird … and should frankly be illegal.
One man wrote, "Why she slurps her toothbrush after brushing is something I cannot understand." Okay ME NEITHER. What kind of sociopathic behavior is this? This woman needs help, immediately!
One Redditor even admitted to committing this heinous act themself. "I do it too if I don't want to get my hands wet by cupping them to get water to rinse my mouth." I … what — why would you — you know what? Never mind.
Other people's spouses went for the classics: toxic flatulence, bathroom filth, nose-picking, and a woman whose husband "has never used a nail-cutter" and "bites off his toenails." God help us.
But there was one habit that was truly the grossest, and definitely weirdest, of them all. "When my husband uses our bidet, he finishes by shooting some water into his butthole and then squirts it back out," a woman wrote. "Even with the fan on, I can hear it from the next room. It’s so disgusting." WWW dot LegalZoom dot com slash DIVORCE!!!
But that's almost less disgusting than the name another user gave to this maneuver, however: "So kind of like a rectal gargle?" Rectal gargle? Ok never mind the divorce. These people need to go to JAIL.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.