6 Early, Ultra-Effective Dating Texting Rules To Live By
Don't waste time playing texting games.
It can be pretty nerve-racking to text someone in the early stages of a relationship. Your mind spirals with so many questions. How do I start, how often should I message, should I have sent that, why aren't they replying, and so many more? It's enough to keep you stuck and never send another text again!
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Here are 6 early, ultra-effective dating texting rules to live by:
1. Keep the text clear and simple
Keep texting simple. Save storytelling, jokes, your unabridged bio, or the completely accurate precise description of your day for your in-person time together. Don't give too much of yourself away. Save some things for later, some for face-to-face, and some for the mystery you slowly reveal. This goes for X's and O's and smiley faces too.
2. If you like someone, you can let them know
Say, "Looking forward to seeing you" or "I had a great time." When they ask if your schedule is free (and you are available) tell them "Yes." Being elusive or hard to get makes the other person feel as if you aren't interested in them. This only frustrates and wastes everyone's time.
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3. Give the authentic you in every message you send
Usually, the authentic you are a kind and considerate person. Right? No games! Treat your new love interest the way you would like to be treated. Showing up as your authentic self, even in text, helps guide the relationship honestly without gaming deception or tricks. Games and tricks will only lead to resentment and remorse in the future.
3. Text them back, don't leave them hanging
No sooner than 5 minutes and no later than 25 minutes after they text you unless you can't get to your phone. Playing the game of "I'm going to make them wait" is a total waste of time and truly isn't what you want to receive back. It shows a level of maturity when one texts back in an appropriate time frame.
4. Assume the best in their intentions to communicate
What we put out in the universe is what we get back. Always assume they're telling you the truth because in return that is what you will be telling them. Whatever is in the text, assume it means exactly what it says. Don't read into it and think you know more than what the text is saying. If you don't understand a statement or a question, then say so. Be clear so they can text back accordingly.
5. Have the patience to not overthink when you don't have the answer
The absolute most important rule. If they haven't texted you back, do not text them! It is their turn. They will get back to you when they are ready. We never know what circumstances are coming at them, so always assume the best. This is another way to let them know that you want to get back into a relationship, you want a patient partner.
New relationships have enough challenges, so you don't need to add texting as a significant problem to worry away your days and nights. Patient understanding combined with clear, authentic communication will guide you through these awkward first steps into your newly found love.
Natasha Silver is a certified recovery and life coach. She helps clients find and realize their authentic selves through intense tenderness and laser-sharp introspection.