15 Signs He's A 'Red Piller' (And Why It's So Dangerous)
Don't swallow the Red Pill.
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock If you’re familiar at all with The Matrix or Reddit, you may have heard of the Red Pill. This is an online forum that basically says that the best way to get a girl to love you is to abuse her, focus on yourself, and demand things from her all the time.
Many writers in the forum talk about how women can only respect a man who insults them or talk about how women are “biologically wired” to want to date men who are filthy rich. In a nutshell, it’s a really misogynistic place that breeds emotional abuse, and toxic masculinity, and ultimately hurts the men who buy into it by alienating them from people who would care about them.
The sad part is that there are a lot of men out there who believe what the Red Pill has to say and even use it to justify things they do to girls who only wanted a man who loved them. Overall, Red Pill users aren’t dating material in my book, and trust me when I said I tried to give them a chance.
And if you see any of these signs, you probably should back away.
Here are 15 signs he's a 'red piller,' and why it's so dangerous:
1. They make it clear that they think women belong in the kitchen
A guy who needs to be the “Alpha” is a guy who probably has some Red Pill tendencies. If he’s at the point where he thinks women shouldn’t have jobs and that they should be “seen, not heard,” he’s a Red Piller and a douche. Skip him.
2. They don’t take no for an answer
This is just a red flag all around, but it’s also a red flag that’s common with Red Pill users who assume women want to be conquered and that they need to be “taught how to love.”
3. They have a Nice Guy™ complex
Does it surprise anyone that many Nice Guys™ tend to view this kind of information as golden? It shouldn’t. It plays right into confirmation bias and further alienates them from women.
4. They tell you that they don’t respect women, or just outright say misogynistic things to you
Most Red Pillers view women as the ENEMY, and that means that, no, they won’t respect women. They will, if anything, hate women and take out their anger on them. If you see misogynistic tendencies, it’s time to bail on this men's rights nonsense.
5. They have anger issues
From what I’ve seen, the Red Pill is comprised mostly of really, really angry men. They just legitimately seethe anger and bitterness and, at times, they don’t even have to blow up for women to feel that vibe.
6. They use terms like “alpha” and “beta” regularly
Sure, these terms have crossed into the mainstream world lately, but the truth is that they originated among forums. This means that just using those terms is a “yellow flag” that tells you to be wary. If he refers to himself as an “alpha male,” you have a problem. He is very likely a Red Pill user.
7. They tell you that they think women aren’t as smart as men or aren’t as moral as men
This is classic Red Pill rhetoric. Do not fall for this, even if he says the phrase “because science says so.”
8. They regularly make moves that hint at the fact that they want to exert dominance over women
Here’s what most people don’t get about guys who have this ideology: they also view sex as a form of dominance. They have issues — big ones — with women. Because of whatever the hell happened to them, they think that relationships are to be “won” like arguments, and that sex is the ultimate form of dominion over a woman.
This means they can get coercive and, yes, rapey. If they do anything that makes you think they’re going for a power trip, you need to shut that sh*t down yesterday.
9. Girls warn you about them
I’m a true believer that you should listen when girls give you a heads-up about someone, particularly if it’s multiple women warning you to stay away from him. If you get a lot of warnings or notice that women won’t go near the guy, listen.
10. They refuse to spend a single dime on you
First off, this is unattractive because it’s stingy. Secondly, if he won’t even do a 50/50 split or just buy you a drink once in a blue moon, he’s just selfish and could be worried about showing that he’s “beta” by being generous. Either way, it’s one of those things that makes you wonder why you’d bother with him. And you shouldn’t.
11. They have a sh*tty relationship with their mom
Imagine if you were the mother of an avid Red Piller. Chances are that they have said some really misogynistic, vile things to their moms, too. Needless to say, many Red Pill users have terrible relationships with their moms.
12. They hit on your friends or ignore you when you stand up for yourself
This is a common Red Pill move that makes them think you’ll fall for them. This is the point where you need to walk away and warn your friends.
13. They used the term “hitting the wall” when talking about a woman
Red Pill users say that after 25 or so, women hit “the wall” and stop being attractive. This is solely a Red Pill term. Avoid this guy because he’s a shallow twat.
14. They demand a virgin girlfriend
Yes, this is a Red Pill thing, too. They even have a term for women who they feel are too “soiled” by other men. No, to them, the only way they can be happy is with a virgin girlfriend.
15. They regularly blame women for not being attracted to them or talk about how it’s “not fair” that certain guys get laid more than them
This is classic Red Pill mentality, and it’s something that’s really poisoned the dating scene. As a result, there’s not much you can do for a guy who thinks this way. Just leave him alone — he might snap out of it in a couple of decades.
Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.