Self-Proclaimed ‘Really Good Dude’ Explains Why Guys Cheat When They Are Happy In Their Relationships
Just because they may be "good guys" does not mean that all of their wrong-doings should be excused.
Kamil Machiak / Shutterstock It seems as if cheaters are always prepared with an excuse just in case they are caught. If the excuse doesn't work, they'll just claim dissatisfaction in the relationship, and place the blame on their partner.
Some cheaters are perfectly content in their committed relationships but still feel the need to cheat. They might even be considered “good guys.” The reason for this? One self-proclaimed “really good dude” believes he’s cracked the code.
The man explained that even men in happy and committed relationships may cheat due to their own insecurities.
Brad Lea, an entrepreneur and motivational speaker, explained the male psyche in a viral interview. During the interview, he was asked why guys cheat even when they are happy in their relationships. Lea did not hesitate when he revealed the true reason, and it had nothing to do with their partners.
“Why do guys cheat when they’re happy? Because they’re insecure,” Lea said. He went on to explain that men who cheat have a metaphorical hole within themselves, despite being in a relationship. The hole is caused by their own self-doubts that tell them that they are not good enough for love.
“They're trying to find value within themselves and the only way they find value is by dominating and hunting down primal instincts called sex,” Lea said, reporting that happy men in relationships physically and emotionally cannot help themselves when they cheat.
“When they’re with somebody for so long, even if they’re happy with that individual it doesn't satiate their void because they have a hole that will not be fulfilled without work.”
For many men, validation from their one romantic partner is not enough. They must go outside of the relationship and seek approval from multiple women. “You’re chasing women to satisfy a hole inside of you,” Lea added. “You cannot be happy with just one girl because you are not happy with yourself.”
Photo: Viktor Cvetkovic from Getty Images Signature / Canva Pro
Lea also established the difference between happy men and truly happy men.
Happy men may be happy in their relationships and love their partners, but fail to love themselves on the same level, whereas truly happy men give themselves the self-validation and motivation to boost their self-confidence.
Truly happy men do not cheat.
Other people agreed with Lea’s argument, sharing their own similar experiences in their relationships.
“So spot on! I also did this myself way back in my 20s. Just lost a 27-year marriage for this reason,” one TikTok user revealed. “Exactly what my ex-fiancé told me. He wanted to see if he still had it!!” another user wrote. “My husband looks at other women and wants their attention. We’ve been married for over 20 years and he still does it,” another added.
Cheating is unfortunately a deal breaker for most relationships. According to the American Psychological Association, infidelity in the United States is responsible for 20 to 40% of divorces.
It is important to note that cheating is not limited to physical interactions with another person. The moment you have to delete text messages to keep your partner from finding them or start disclosing intimate, personal details about your relationship with another person that you find attractive, you're already there.
As Lea pointed out, those who suffer from low self-esteem may be more likely to cheat than those who are sure about themselves.
However, the escape provided by infidelity will only last for a moment.
As difficult as it can be to open up to other people about your insecurities, even your partner, it just may strengthen your relationship and prevent cheating from happening in the first place.
Open, honest, and respectful communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Expressing your feelings to your partner will provide them with a better understanding of your needs, and allow you both to have a deeper connection with one another.
You will find that opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable will fulfill you more than cheating ever will. That is what makes you a “good guy.”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.