Husband Admits To Calling His Postpartum Wife 'Fat' After She Continuously Bugs Him About His Own Weight
Now he wants to know if he was wrong.
Keira Burton / Pexels Emotions run high after the birth of a baby. Of course, there is so much excitement and love, but there can also be some tension.
This was true for one couple who found themselves struggling to get along after the birth of their son.
A husband told his wife that she was 'fat' because she kept telling him the same thing.
An anonymous man posted to Reddit asking for advice after getting into an argument with his wife.
The man provided some background and said, “When I was younger I was bullied for being fat basically and my mother wouldn’t help me lose weight, so when I got into college I lost a lot of weight and gained muscle and now I’m 6’5 and 240 pounds.”
However, things have changed recently. After his wife had a baby six months ago, he admitted he didn't have "much time to go back to the gym. I haven’t gained that much weight, maybe 25 to 30 pounds, which is okay because I still look good.”
His wife, on the other hand, didn't see it that way. “She’s recently been telling me I’m getting fat and I’m not as attractive as before,” the man wrote. “I mainly brush her comments off but she’s been doing this a lot recently and it’s been making me upset. I’ve told her this and she said she’ll stop but she hasn’t.”
His wife continued making comments about his changed physical appearance, and he felt that he had to do something to get her attention.
“I told her if you don’t stop, I’m going to say something you [are not] going to want to hear,” he said. “She laughed and said okay while rolling her eyes. So on Monday, she had called me fatty and said that I need to hit the gym before she calls my old classmates. I said… it’s been six months since you’ve had the baby. You should not be looking [like] that. She ran off crying.”
Photo: nd3000 / Canva Pro
Now, the man is left wondering if he was wrong for snapping at his wife. “I haven’t apologized because I don’t know if I’m wrong or not,” he said. “If I’m wrong, I will go apologize, but I don’t know.”
The man did clarify his wife’s situation. “She has not had any body issues in the past. She always feels like whatever weight she is, is what weight she is,” he said. “Yes, I do love her body and find it attractive. So I just said that to get her back.”
Commenters were largely on the husband’s side.
Most Reddit users who took the time to comment on the post supported the husband. One person said, “Your wife is verbally abusive and you hit your limit. You are sacrificing your health for your family’s well-being and she thinks that fat shaming you is the way to go?”
Another chimed in with their thoughts regarding true equality: “Someday people will truly value women as equals. It doesn’t mean much to celebrate what a woman goes through during pregnancy if they get full license to behave in a manner never accepted from a man. She’s bullying you and affecting your mental health.”
However, another commenter seemed to suggest finding some middle ground. “Couples often gain and lose weight through pregnancy and the aftermath,” they said. “The relationships that make it are the ones that support each other.”
The husband and the wife share ownership in their marital communication problems.
Clearly, this couple has some deep-seated issues that need to be worked through.
It’s never acceptable to use someone’s painful past to poke fun at them in the present. If her intent was to motivate him to prioritize his health, teasing is not the way to do it.
At the same time, it’s also not okay to lash out in return. A happy medium needs to be found here and that involves open and honest communication.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.