I Didn’t Age Slowly; It Happened All At Once — How I Reversed It

When I got cancer, my looks and health changed dramatically in the space of a year.

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Aging and physical changes are inevitable.

How you deal with the changes — which can be depressing or at least worrisome — is the trick.

When I got cancer, my looks and health changed dramatically in the space of a year. It wasn’t much fun.

Especially when people around me could be thoughtless in noticing my descent.

"When I get old, I’m going to work really hard at looking good and staying healthy," my young family member said. "I’m not going to let myself get ugly."

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She eyed me critically. Or was that my imagination? I felt so defensive and hurt.

The last two years were hard, and I’ve changed. I can see it. She can see it, I’m sure. Why else would she have said such a thing?

Thinking back to that horrible moment, I can see the remarks for what they were — insensitive and thoughtless.

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However, there is some truth to being proactive, wherever you’re at in your health and age

And there’s also some truth to 'course correcting' when you’ve had a really bad year, like mine. I’m working hard to reverse the clock and get healthier, despite one heck of a hard couple of years. I’m getting younger by the day.

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Let me share the back story.

I looked good and thought I was really healthy until 2021 when a surprise cancer diagnosis laid me low for about a year. Overnight, everything changed.

Until my year with cancer, I had glossy thick hair, glowing skin, and was in good physical shape. My waist was smaller.

Within two weeks of my cancer diagnosis, my appearance changed dramatically, as I was exhausted from studying the internet to learn about surgeries, cancer, radiation, and chemotherapy.

I was my own worst enemy, researching until I was worn out. My eyes were swollen. I stiffened up from too much sitting and staring at the computer.

Two surgeries, both painful and distressful, occurred. I had to ditch a doctor, as he was horrible — ungloved exam, patronizing. I moved on and got a better oncology team. That took a lot of energy I didn’t have.

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The cancer had hit me like a torpedo hitting its target — blowing apart everything.

I felt like I was occupying alien space.

My belly was witness to the hysterectomy, along with a lot of other bits of me removed. My sexuality was destroyed. I didn’t even want to think about what was going on 'down there,' as it felt like it had become decimated. Barren landscape.

I hated what I had become. My hair became thin and dull, and I felt sexless and ugly. I didn’t recognize myself, this old person with no waist and a sadness that wouldn’t go away.

Aging and worry came like a thief in the night to steal my looks and my happiness.

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Could I recover my appearance? Could I become happy again? I didn’t need to look fifty, or even sixty. I knew I would feel better and happier if I could get healthier. Physical and emotional health is everything.

RELATED: 16 Easy Ways To Look Younger Longer, As Recommended By Dermatologists

When I’m in trouble, I start walking.

On my phone, I found a walking app in which you could simulate a long-distance hike — from many places around the world — and clock your miles. At the end of the 'hike' you would receive a beautiful blue lanyard with a medal. It was called The Conqueror Events, for those interested.

The phone app tracked each step and tallied the miles.

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That’s what I need, I thought. A goal. Something I can do. Anything would be better than lying on the couch and crying.

The surgery was painful, emotionally and physically. Even worse, the fear of a cancer recurrence was overwhelming.

I needed to overcome the depression and walk under the open sky.

While I’ve been one to go overseas and walk the Camino de Santiago — a pilgrimage hundreds of miles long — I knew my health wouldn’t permit that kind of journey. So, I simulated the walk!

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The phone app showed photos of villages I’d seen along the way when I walked Camino Frances. I became interested in studying those places again.

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I walked out the door of my home in the country and moved slowly around the driveway in front of our home. The pond. The neighborhood.

By God, if I couldn’t travel, I’d do what I could do. And that’s the trick. Just do something every day.

I walked 500 miles using that phone app, in a two-month period.

I wasn’t in Spain or France, or even in the mountains somewhere. I was at home, walking around the yard, the driveway and the neighborhood. It wasn’t my 'trip of choice,' but it was what was available.

I forced myself. I had to. Most days, the couch looked much more appealing.

Any hour off the couch became a win, and the walking helped snap me out of a deep depression.

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RELATED: Why I'm Officially No Longer Afraid Of Getting Old

But what more could I do? I wanted my previous self back.

I began drinking lots of water and green tea. I noticed in some of my post-surgery selfies, I looked dry and dehydrated. Even my lips were kind of shriveled.

I increased my water intake and used olive oil on my face and lips, massaging it in and taking time with it. I began looking significantly more radiant, if at times a bit oily!

My hair needed brushing, and I ran my fingers through it, working out the tangles.

I became unkempt — a wild woman — when I was in the depths of despair. Now, I took time to shower, and wash and condition my hair. Little things are big things when you’ve been depressed.

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I had to build myself anew, and I did. It took time.

I began eating chicken, leafy greens, and some fruit. While my post-surgery body was uncooperative with shedding weight, I would be healthy, as healthy as I could be.

I experimented with roasting vegetables and drizzling olive oil lightly over the top. My favorites are carrots and Brussels sprouts.

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And so it has been that, while I’m not quite my old self, I’m feeling better.

I’m taking time to take care of myself.

With improved health, I look better now too. I buy clothes that fit and wear turquoise earrings. I brush my hair.

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In time, I may even fit into my skinny jeans again, but I’m not banking on that. It could happen, though. Health is everything, and I’ve mostly got that again.

At sixty-three, I’ve had some more attractive years, but I’m finding that the healthier I am, the less it matters. My happiness and health will carry me, but I work to maintain them as best I can. I try to be more gentle with myself these days.

And I’m still walking. That’s a win.

RELATED: Why Some People Age Faster Than Others, According To Research

Debra Groves Harman is a creative non-fiction memoirist who's been published in myriad magazines.