Mom's Biological Family Is Furious She 'Betrayed' Them By Giving Heirloom To Her Stepdaughter
Blood ties don't make a family, but traditions should probably stay within them.
adriaticfoto / Shutterstock A mom on Reddit recently came under fire from her family after she bequeathed an heirloom to her stepdaughter.
Hoping that Redditors would understand her plight, she would eventually be disappointed when many of them disagreed with her. Her issue is a complex one and one that makes me question my own morals and principles as well.
Her family’s heirloom necklace has likely been around for generations — always in the family, and always passed down to the eldest daughter. However, she decided to break the tradition by passing that heirloom down to her eldest daughter — her stepdaughter.
Her family thinks she ‘betrayed’ their tradition by giving the heirloom to her stepdaughter.
Although the original post was deleted (and the mom’s account was banned for reasons unknown), it was reposted on “r/AmITheDevil.” In her post, the mom gave a little backstory, including how their family came together and about her relationship with both of her daughters.
“I have a stepdaughter Leah (20) and a biological daughter Sienna (16). I've been in Leah's life since she was 9,” she explained. “While her biological mother is in her life, in practise I'm her mum. While it was initially rough (she was not happy about her dad dating), she quickly calmed down and accepted us.”
Photo: EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA / Pexels
In the lead-up to Leah’s 20th birthday, she said, her husband had asked her about the necklace, seeing as Leah mentioned it. Her husband wondered what she would do with it, but she had never truly thought about whether or not she’d give it to Leah.
Technically, Leah is her eldest daughter, but she's also not of blood relation. Sienna has the true right to the necklace, but she’s only 16.
Regardless, she had to make a decision. “My first instinct was Sienna, but the more I thought about it the more I realised that felt wrong. Leah's the oldest and just as much my daughter,” she explained. “I'd always told her blood doesn't matter and we're really close.”
Sienna was furious with her mother for giving the heirloom away to her stepsister.
“It felt like I made the right choice. But my family and, later, Sienna were furious,” she explained. “They think it should have gone to her. That a family heirloom should go to my biological daughter. My mother claims I'm betraying its meaning, that I'm throwing everything away.”
The mom felt as though she made the right choice, but her mother (who gave the necklace to her) and her daughter were incredibly disappointed with her decision.
She truly wanted to show her daughter that blood ties aren’t everything, and you don’t need to be blood-related in order to be family, but by doing so, she abandoned the blood-relative tradition that her family has had for generations.
At the very least, the issue should have been discussed with her mother and with Sienna since they are biologically related — and that’s what many Redditors said as well. Another great point made by these strangers was that: had she never married her husband and gained a stepdaughter, Sienna would have been her eldest daughter.
Sienna shouldn’t be treated any differently just because she gained a new sister, so it’s unfair to give the heirloom to someone who wasn’t there from the beginning. The mom’s heart was in the right place, but her execution of the decision wasn’t done correctly.
An even better idea? Create a new heirloom tradition that Leah and any future children or stepchildren can be a part of!
One thing is certain, however: she should make amends before her family decides to turn on her, or Sienna resents her for the rest of her life.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.