The Single Most Embarrassing Thing I Did After My Divorce

Divorce doesn't always have to be sad.

The Single Most Embarrassing Thing I Did After My Divorce, on a singles cruise Andreia Durante | Shutterstock
Advertisement

As divorce coaches, my partner and I hear some good (like, wicked good) stories. Most of them we cannot divulge here because of client confidentiality (unfortunately for you, sorry). However, we do have permission to share a few snippets from women who were willing to anonymously admit to some rather embarrassing post-divorce shenanigans. What's up with all of those awkward antics? 

Here’s the thing: After you come through the hard parts of ending your marriage — deciding to divorce, grieving the loss of the relationship, and navigating the legal process — things finally do get easier. You start to feel better and you crave a little fun. So, you throw caution to the wind and say, 'I don’t care what anyone else thinks right now. I’m going to do whatever I want." And, you do exactly that. 

Advertisement

It’s normal and healthy, and sometimes the results are great. But, sometimes ... well, let’s just say it may not be your proudest moments that result. For this article, we polled our divorced friends and past clients to find out exactly what this post-divorce/second adolescence looks like (and okay, this may include a story or two of our own here). 

RELATED: 12 Men Describe Exactly How It Felt When They Officially Divorced Their Wives

Here are embarrassing things women did after their divorce: 

1. A smelly delivery

 "I ordered a poop bomb and had it delivered to my ex’s new wife." 

Advertisement

(Yes, this is something you can order online.)

2. The blind date

"I ditched a blind date to make out with the bartender in the bathroom. My date finally came looking for me and walked in on us."

RELATED: Divorce Lawyer Reveals The Craziest Divorce Case She Ever Experienced

3. A hired date 

"I hired a smokin’ hot escort to take me to the museum fundraiser because I knew my ex would be there."

Advertisement

4. The cruise

"I booked a singles cruise, secretly hoping for an ocean romance. But when I got there it was all gay men. (Had the time of my life anyway!)"

RELATED: Ending My Fairytale Marriage Was The Best Thing I Ever Did

Hey divorced women, listen — we think you're entitled to enjoy your newfound freedom and we encourage you to get out there and experiment. Learn how to be your single self again. We want you to play safely, but we do want you to get out there and play! Your first attempts at being single again will likely not go perfectly … and probably won't be too pretty either! But that’s okay, what’s important is that you're trying. Have a sense of humor about it all. 

@mompsychtherapist Post divorcr lifr. Married single mom tiktok.Married feeling single. Divorced single mom. Best self care strategies post divorce. Inner peace is mom’s best friend. Best mindset strategy for mom burnout. How to put yourself first. Easier alone. Divorce Warrior.#Mommentalhealth #divorceempowerment #marylandmom #mommentalload #selfcareformoms #momguilt #momsoftiktok #toresawilson #therapistformoms #workingmomguilt #mommyburnout #morethanmama #marriedsinglemoms #marylandtherapist #womendivorce #divorcecoachingformoms #momwithgoals ♬ original sound - Toresa | Therapist For Moms ✨

Remember how awkward you felt as a new teenager when your breasts were coming in. Or when you had to put toothpaste on your zits? Or when the boy on the bus smiled at you and you peed your pants a little? You survived puberty and you’ll survive this, too. Post-divorce is a time of independence, exploration, and a whole lot of trial and error. It’s all a part of being human. Women ask us all the time, "Is there life after divorce?" Yes, there is and it’s pretty terrific. So get out there. 

Advertisement

RELATED: 15 Horrifying Disaster Date Stories That Will Make You Cringe

Liza Caldwell runs SAS for Women, a boutique firm that specializes in helping women free themselves from dysfunctional and unhappy relationships.