3 Ways To Make A Man Who Has Been Cheated On Before Trust You
How to earn your boyfriend's trust the right way.
Dean Drobot | Canva When your boyfriend has trust issues, it may seem innocent at first, but sadly, over time, it can have serious consequences on your self-esteem, which can leave you heartbroken or alone. Severe trust issues are unhealthy and not good for anyone. I often receive letters from women desperately wanting to help their boyfriends with trust issues so they can have a normal relationship. They come to me asking, "How can I gain his trust?", "How can I help him?", "He has been hurt in the past and I want to make him feel secure. I want to show him he can trust me, that I'm different from his ex or the other women."
These women spend countless hours and energy proving their innocence, and in most cases, they have done nothing wrong. Their boyfriends are stuck in the past and hurting from a previous relationship. Whilst I have enormous sympathy for men with trust issues, if your man is constantly checking on you, limiting who you see, and controlling you, he is in no position for a relationship. Instead of controlling you, he needs to seek professional help and work on his own trust issues.
If your boyfriend is placing a limit on your life to make himself feel better and more secure you will eventually feel emotionally exhausted. In the end, when you can't prove your innocence, you will probably leave and become a shadow of your former self. Trust issues take up a lot of your headspace and eat into the fun times you should be having with your man and enjoying life. It can cause havoc in relationships sabotage amazing connections and waste valuable time. Trust after cheating is difficult to regain. So what do you do if your boyfriend has trust issues?
Here are 3 ways to make your man who has been cheated on before trust you:
1. Talk about boundaries
Understand that your current relationship is unhealthy and that you need to put a stop to this behavior and set some clear healthy boundaries. Instead of focusing on all his needs, start to talk about your own. Healthy relationships are about give and take. Often, when a person is experiencing trust issues they are so focused on their feelings and fears that they forget about yours. It's an internal programming they aren't aware of.
2. Ask him what he needs from you
Reassure your boyfriend and tell him how much you love him, and how much you want the relationship to thrive and survive and build a future together. However, if he doesn't trust you, there is no hope. Ask him what he needs from you to feel secure and trust you. This is your opportunity to tell him what you need from the relationship. Make sure when you have this conversation that emotions are low and you are in a good place. Otherwise, it could get heated. Reassure him that you support him but things need to change.
3. Take the lead in your relationship
Take control of the situation. Instead of trying to fix him, think about what a happy relationship involves and work on that. Lead by example. Eventually, over time, he should come around, he will realize you won't put up with his controlling ways that there are better things to focus on, and that he needs help. If he doesn't, it's your opportunity to say goodbye and meet someone who deserves you.
Samantha Jayne is Australia's leading dating coach and relationship expert who has been featured on Ask Men, The Huffington Post, Forbes, Women's Health, and more.