The 9-Step Guide To Giving A Crazy-Hot Lap Dance
Tease him until it drives him wild.
Vadym Sh / Shutterstock If you've ever fantasized about mesmerizing your man with a slow striptease before sex, rest assured you're not alone.
Wanting to tap into your inner diva and mastering the art of seduction to sexy music is totally natural (not to mention incredibly sexy).
Foreplay is not only just a fun part of initiating sex, but it can actually be an incredible time to bond you to your partner — and what better way than by turning your man on by learning how to give a lap dance with the sexiest movements your hips can offer?
Men enjoy lap dances — but there’s more to it than just watching as you gyrate and dance. It can also be an incredibly freeing moment for you as well, and make you feel sexy and confident before you even touch each other.
But lap dances can also seem a bit intimidating, and that’s okay!
Those of us who aren’t skilled in dancing or have never given a lap dance before might not know where to start. But once you’ve got a good place to begin, you can have an incredible amount of fun learning how to lap dance and showing off your best moves.
If you want to get your man hot and bothered as a special occasion or even as a new form of foreplay before things really take off in the bedroom, then lap dances can be an intimately fun way to initiate sex.
We know a thing or two about how couples can improve their sex lives and become better lovers, and sharing something as passionate as a lap dance can certainly make for an interesting evening together.
Lap dances should last as long as you want them to, depending on your level of comfort, your playlist, and the overall mood. While the cost of a lap dance typically varies at certain venues, it's totally cool to give your boyfriend a lap dance. (And if you want to charge him, that's up to you.)
One of the most common questions you might have before you start is: “How can I give my man the best lap dance of his life without seeming like an amateur?” And if you’d like to know the answer to that, keep reading!
How to Give a Lap Dance Like a Total Pro
1. Treat the lap dance like it's a (sexy) special occasion.
Lap dancing isn't an everyday activity, but a seductive gift you can offer your man for special occasions.
These days, people automatically assume that erotic dance is only for strip clubs and music videos, but it's so much more than that.
Imagine your lover being completely spellbound by your every move, quivering with desire, ready to follow your every command. Learn to lap dance, and you'll gain tremendous erotic power and confidence.
2. Practice your lap dance moves.
Long before you give your man a lap dance, start dancing for your own pleasure. Find a few songs that you think are sexy and seductive and then practice dancing to them, enjoying the way the moves feel in your body.
Ditch the mirror and don't worry about what looks sexy. Focus on what feels sexy to you.
One of our golden rules is "get out of your head, get into your hips!" Women spend too much energy worrying about how they look, what their lover is thinking and if they are performing adequately enough.
Take all of that energy and focus on how you feel. Bring the focus of your attention down into your body and notice the sensations of pleasurable movement.
Start with your hips. Place your hands on your hips and sway your hips left and right. Notice how your whole body curves in response. Then thrust your hips forward and notice how your spine arches. All of these bends and curves are crazy sexy.
Have a little extra flesh? Use it to your advantage and accentuate your curves as you bend and sway with the music.
Firmly put your hands on the arms of the chair. Sway your hips from side to side.
Next, find a song that you love dancing to. You can choose a fast, booty-thumping song that makes you feel feisty and alive. Or you may prefer a sensual dance to a slow love song.
Find the songs that make you feel most alive, most erotically charged and most ready to seduce your lover. Then dance to the song over and over again until you are at ease, moving your hips and swaying to the rhythm.
You don't have to choreograph a whole routine, just find a few good moves that feel sexy to you. The more confidence you have, the more desire you will build in your audience of one!
3. Get your space ready.
When you are ready to give your man a lap dance, take a few moments to prepare the space.
Clear the floor around your most comfortable chair. Imagine your man sitting in the chair, beaming at you with love and appreciation. Make sure you can walk all the way around the chair so you can dance in a 360-degree circle of seduction!
Dim the lights if you can or flood the room with candlelight. You may even want to buy colored light bulbs to create a new atmosphere. It doesn't take much to create the thrill of novelty!
Create an atmosphere that makes you feel sexy, seductive and in the mood to dance. As you prepare the space, start taking long deep breaths and get yourself in the zone.
4. Make sure your body and mind are in the zone.
What you wear for your lap-dancing performance is totally up to you.
You can go all out and dress up in your finest dress and high heels, go out on a date and give your lover a lap dance as dessert. Or you can hide gorgeous lingerie under casual clothes and surprise him on Sunday morning.
Make it your own. After all, a lap dance is an authentic expression of your sexuality!
You'll be getting very close and intimate with your lover, so take the time to take a long shower or bath and anoint yourself with a scent you love.
You'll feel more confident and relaxed if you take a few moments to tend to your body before you present yourself to your lover.
Set aside all worries about mundane life. Ditch your to-do lists. Mindfully step into the role of seductress.
Your only job for the next stretch of time is to feel so good in your body that you cast a spell, seducing your lover into your pleasure zone.
As much as you are giving a gift to your lover, you are also giving yourself the gift of a time to feel sexy, fully alive and sensually awake.
5. Build up the anticipation — it will drive him wild!
Don't tell your man what he has in store for him, but hint that you have something special to offer him. Let him wonder what's coming next.
Start your lap dance in whatever style you prefer. You can put the music on and strut your stuff.
Or just turn away, look over your shoulder as the song begins, wink at him and start to move. Whatever you do, commit fully.
Trust us, he is not going to evaluate your dance moves. He'll get excited at the opportunity to take in all of your beauty and will love the confidence in your body.
Don't worry about getting every move right and just let yourself have fun with it. Your own pleasure is the secret sauce that will make your lap dance the most memorable of his life.
So own your power, move for your own pleasure, and know that you are giving him the profound gift of watching your gorgeous body dance!
6. Ladies, strip tease it out.
Start far away from him, and time your approach with the song so the last few moves are right on his lap.
As you gain confidence, you can even create a playlist for a multi-song seduction, starting slow and working up to serious grinding on his lap. But to start, pick one sexy song and know that you have three to five minutes to give it your all.
From far away, make eye contact with him and slowly start moving into your dance. Then peel away one item of clothing at a time — or leave it all on! You can even combine striptease and lap dancing, and he will love it, no matter how nervous you are.
If it makes you feel more confident, leave all your clothes on and leave the undressing for later. Or strip down just to your lingerie. This is your expression, so do what makes you feel best.
As you move, slowly approach him and then back away. Then move around behind him, lightly stroking his hair and shoulders. Let him feel your breasts and hair graze the nape of his neck.
Then circle back around. Your goal is to tease him as much as possible, making him ache to touch you.
7. Keep it simple.
You don't have to go crazy with your lap dance!
Once you have built up anticipation, start dancing closer to him. When you feel ready, let the climax of the lap dance begin.
Turn so you are facing away from him and slowly let your hips sink closer and closer to his lap. Whether he gets fully erect or not, remember that an erection is not a full measure of his arousal. So don't worry about how hard he is.
Here are four simple moves for once you are dancing in his lap:
1. Start by swaying your hips left and right.
This simple move is surprisingly powerful. Add a little dip by bending your knees as you sway.
2. Lower your hips so they are just barely above his pants and then move your body in circles in time with the music.
3. Try a pelvic tilt by thrusting your hips forward and back.
Give your hips an extra push as you move back to make your booty bounce in a delicious way!
4. The fourth move you can try is a simple bounce squat.
Position yourself squarely above his lap and then squat quickly up and down, bouncing on his lap without ever making full contact. This move is a huge tease and turn-on. Play with speed; start with slow squats and then bring up the tempo until you are bouncing in the air, just above him.
Glance over your shoulder once in a while and make eye contact. He'll want to both look in your eyes and at your beautiful body — the desire to do both will be a delightful form of erotic tease!
8. Remember to finish the lap dance strong.
When you are ready to finish off as the song comes to an end, turn around so you are facing him, straddling one or both of his legs. Then do the same four moves: sway, thrust, circle and bounce.
Facing your lover means that your breasts (covered or not, they will still be a treat) will be at about face level. Use this to your advantage, and as you move your hips around his lap pay attention to all the delicious ways you can tease him.
When the song comes to an end, you have two choices. You can settle right into his lap and then let the charge take you into making out (and whatever other intimate activities you have on your mind!).
Or, you can get up and strut right out of the room, leaving him out of breath and dazzled by your presence. Remember, you are in charge!
9. Give your sexy self a pat on the back.
Choosing to give your lover a lap dance is a very powerful step toward more sexual confidence, in and out of the bedroom.
When you can accept the fact that you are gorgeous and a worthy object of his attention, you start to forget to care about the little imperfections and instead focus on the incredible pleasure your body can feel.
Lap dancing is a gift for both of you. Your lover gets the joy and arousal of watching you dance, and you get all of the pleasure of feeling like a powerful seductress.
Remember, start the journey by setting aside time to dance in private and bring your awareness to how much pleasure you can feel just by moving to one of your favorite songs.
Once you feel great and are ready to seduce your lover with a lap dance, follow the steps in this guide and you'll create a potent pleasure spell that is sure to transport you both.
The Pleasure Mechanics are a team of sex educators and touch experts dedicated to providing people around the world with the tools and strategies they need to experience maximum sexual pleasure. Their books and videos offer time-tested strategies based on human anatomy, psychology and an understanding of the social nature of human sexuality.