Why Are Single Women Choosing To Be Single Moms?
Single women in their late 30’s or early 40’s are often worried about their biological clock, for good reason. Whether dating and looking for the right life partner, or on a hiatus from the search, there is a point at which the reality of time moving forward registers. With that reality are the facts about how much more difficult it is to become pregnant with each passing year in your late 30's, and more so in your early 40's. Then the question is whether to raise your own biological child or adopt a child on your own, while you can.
More women are now aware of the choice to be a single mom, with the help of modern medicine and some increasing societal acceptance of nontraditional family structures. Yet doubts about the appearance and impact of the choice often arise: does it mean or will it look like I'm resigned to being single? The answer is: not at all. Dating and marriage can always happen later....Or, is it going to be bad for my child not to have a dad, and is it fair to choose to raise a child in a "different" kind of family? You do need to explore and answer these questions for yourself, but don't let fears stop you from thinking deeply about the choice.
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In my private practice, I welcome women to sort through the pro’s and con’s and feelings associated with the decision to become a single mom or not. You can review your personal situation, e.g. support system, financial backup, easily enough on your own. But a thorough consideration of the idea, in a supportive environment, is helpful. If you lean toward going ahead with the process, it's a good idea to anticipate the aspects of psychological importance at each stage, such as mourning the idea/expectation of the traditional family, adoption or choosing a donor (or friend), trying to conceive, and pregnancy, and then becoming a new mom. If it becomes clear that you don't have the means to take on this responsibility, or that another path is best for you, I provide support to focus on your desired "role(s)" and goals, and to identify any feelings of loss at the same time.