10 Things Some Women Do That Turn Men Off Immediately
Any one of these behaviors can cause a man to think twice about the woman he's dating.
Katerina Holmes / Pexels You went on a first date with a guy and had a wonderful time. The chemistry was off the charts! He gave you a soft goodnight kiss at your front door and said, "I'll call you next week." Next week came, but the phone call never did.
You wonder, What happened? Did I do something wrong? Why didn't he call me for a second date?
Many times, you did nothing wrong. Maybe the timing was off for him. Maybe the chemistry was great for you, but not for him. But it's not a valid reason to beat yourself up! But perhaps it was some very specific bad dating behavior that doused his interest in you.
Here are 10 things some women do that turn men off
1. Falling in love too fast
Romanticizing, fantasizing, and reading between the lines can scare a good man away. It takes time to get to know someone, so if it's only been a few days or weeks and you're already feeling intense emotions for him, it's not a good sign.
At the same time, ignoring and making excuses for a man's bad behavior can allow the wrong guy into your life. And that's a turn-off in an entirely different way.
Solution: Pheromones, testosterone, dopamine, and norepinephrine induce feelings of physical attraction, infatuation, and love. But here's a reality check: You must learn to temper your irrational, romantic feelings about a man with logic and reasoning.
2. Clingy, insecure behavior
Insecure women with low self-esteem will laugh nervously, talk too much and brag. Subconsciously, they are trying to sell themselves to a guy. Unfortunately, it's these behaviors that send men running in the other direction.
Solution: Confident women know their self-worth. Instead of worrying about what he thinks about you, focus on if he is worthy of your time and attention. Don't change who you are to appease someone; rather, stand tall and proud.
3. Fearful, self-protecting behavior
Even if you've been on a date or two, you’re afraid to show your interest in a man. Your self-protecting aura causes you to appear unfriendly, aloof, and unapproachable. Your fear of intimacy blocks the development of a relationship. And guess what? He can definitely tell something's up.
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Solution: Adopt the mantra: It’s not always about you. Men (even attractive, successful men) are afraid of being shot down by a woman. Presume everyone likes you — and if they prove otherwise, it’s their loss.
4. Talking about money
A man is understandably wary of a woman when her biggest interest seems to be about money and possessions, not ambitions, career, or the idea of romance in her life. And out of all the things some women do that turn men off, this is probably the biggest indicator that the relationship will not progress.
Solution: Stay clear of initial conversations that include what kind of car he drives, your love of clothes, jewelry, and expensive restaurants, and (please say you wouldn’t) how much money he makes.
5. Losing your 'mystery'
Sharing too much personal information too soon can squelch a man's desire to pursue you for a second date. While you may say you're an open book, there is such a thing as revealing too much about yourself before he's ready.
Solution: Don’t talk about your personal problems on a first date (or even on a second date). Don’t talk about the problems with your children, a fight with your friend, a bad boss, or your past infidelity! Instead, introduce the intimate aspects of your life as a relationship develops.
6. Calling and chasing a man
Out of eagerness or insecurity, you impulsively call a man, rather than waiting for him to call you first. And while your intentions may be good, he doesn't see it as a positive thing.
Solution: Ask yourself: Would you rather lose the interest of a man because you called him out of desperation, or (for whatever reason) because he chooses to never call you again? Men don't want you to chase them, so if he doesn’t pursue you, he’s just not into you!
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7. Being intimate on the first date
Yes, we are modern, empowered women, but a man needs time to develop strong feelings for a woman. Being intimate with him too soon can short-circuit an otherwise promising relationship.
Solution: Get to the core of why you feel the need to be intimate with a man on the first or second date. Is it low self-esteem? Are you afraid to say “no”? Is it some other issue from your past? Men typically say that there’s something about a woman who makes him wait. Keep that in mind.
8. Dating for money and position
When you commit to a relationship or marry for possessions and status, you may later find yourself yearning for the love and intimacy that is absent. Dating for this reason isn't something men are keen on, especially if they are looking for lasting love.
Solution: Decide what’s more important to you: Financial security or a loving relationship — and then live with your choice.
9. Talking about the men in your past
A man doesn't want to compete with (or be compared with) the men in your past. It's never a good idea to bring up your past romantic relationships, what went wrong in them, and how your exes are different or the same from the guy you're on a date with.
Solution: Talking about anyone you were once romantically involved with is a bad reflection on you. If you must dwell on the pain and resentment of a past relationship, talk to a friend, not to a new guy.
10. Drinking too much
Don't try to convince yourself that you "didn't act stupid" when you drank when, truthfully, you did. Inebriated behavior can wreck your chances with a great guy. When the focus is on how many drinks you can throw back, it becomes about that and not about getting to know this new person.
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Solution: If you can’t limit your drinks to two, you don’t need to be drinking. Save that for a night on the town with your girlfriends, not a date.
Nancy Nichols is a best-selling self-help, dating, and relationship author, empowerment speaker, blogger, and TV and radio talk show personality. She's a woman's advocate who uses her books to impart self-esteem building, the power of positive thought, relationship understanding, and personal healing.