The 'Intimacy Quotient' A Woman Needs To Magnetically Attract A Man
How to intimately connect with a man on a deeper level.
Your intimacy quotient is crucial for a man to go from "attracted to you" to "totally intoxicated by you!" This quotient is measured by how intimate your energy feels to him — whether he wants to get closer and closer to you or not, by the way, you interact with him in quiet, loving, and romantic moments.
Your capacity for deep levels of intimacy is all related to how much physical and emotional closeness you can tolerate and even invite with a man.
Are you fully available to 'melt into him' during pillow talk? Can you take a walk on the beach and turn it into the greatest memories of tenderness and mutual understanding he has ever known? Can you open him up like a book and get him willingly talking to you about secrets he's never told any other woman?
Here are some tips to help you be more intimate with men and magnetize them with your ability to make them feel more connected to another human being than they ever thought possible.
The 'intimacy quotient' a woman needs to magnetically attract a man:
1. Enthrall him with your feminine vulnerability
One reason I believe that 50 Shades of Grey is so popular is because most women want to feel their soft side when in love but many of us need to be submitted to it. After all, we have hardened ourselves to get through life in the modern world.
We ladies want to feel ooey and gooey and fragile and vulnerable in our hearts, but, these days, many women have to be tough in the workforce and at home raising kids.
The idea of having a controlling, power-hungry man who 'gentlemanly' forces submission can thus be very appealing and exactly what a lady needs to feel her vulnerability.
The thing is, not only do women want to feel more vulnerable to their soft side, but men want this, too. Men want a woman who is submissive in a way — not submissive to him necessarily, but to her own soft, feminine vulnerability.
Men are the thinkers and women are the feelers. How often do you hear men talk about their emotions? It's because we women are more connected to our feelings and even though men tire fast of emotionally chaotic women, they love our soft vulnerability.
When you can be soft, sweet, and vulnerable when with a man, you are seducing him with your silkiness, as I call it. When you think of being intimate, somehow candles and wine and silky bedsheets come to mind.
Just like the idea of rubbing up against a silk sheet is enticing and alluring, you want the idea of coming close to you to be just as delicious. Your silkiness is your soft-spoken, supple, feminine side that is calm, loving, still, inviting, vulnerable... and lazy like a porch cat on a hot summer afternoon.
See, men are the doers and shakers in the relationship. Women are the ones who should be in their female energy and do nothing but be available for a man's affection and attention.
Men don't want a woman to nurture them and do for them; real men want women who have self-love enough to be comfortable receiving male attention and affection. Men live to pamper the right woman and see her appreciation reflected in her eyes.
2. Hypnotize him with your eyes
The key to sleepy eyes or bedroom eyes that twinkle and gloss over with irresistible sensuality is inner dialogue!
Old Hollywood actresses were masters at communicating with their eyes. They were able to speak without words because they were thinking about very specific, vulnerable, intimate things and they were expressing these things to the other person silently in their head.
Eyes are considered the window into human attraction. When we look at someone we're attracted to, our eyes dilate, CNN reports. And, we find certain eye colors more attractive.
Next time you are with your man, look at him and silently tell him with your 'head voice' that you think he is amazing. Then wait for him to connect with your message and smile at you.
Don't shy away from his smile or expression, but instead, catch it like a butterfly in a child's net and smile back.
Moments like these, where nothing is said, but everything is felt and communicated through expression are so hot, it's unbelievable. Men love a woman who can glance at them from across a crowded room and express tender intimacy with her eyes as if no one but him is around for miles.
Pexels / cottonbro studio
3. Listen well to capture his heart
A man magnet is a woman who knows how to open a man up like an oyster. She knows exactly how to get him to reveal all his secret truths to her in a way that makes him think she's his pearl!
When a man exposes his touching life stories and darkest thoughts to a woman, he automatically feels less lonely. He feels understood and safe to reveal. This kind of feeling equals intimacy and it's the breeding ground for profound love and passionate romance!
The best way to get him to reveal himself is to be a wonderful listener. There is nothing more comforting and appealing in a mate than an empathic and patient ear.
To make sure you are listening well, don't distract yourself with other tasks, like using your phone. Try really hard to listen with your eyes as well as your ears. What is his expression saying? Even if he is laughing about something, is he vulnerable too?
When you notice the feelings that stir under the surface of his words, you are showing him that you not only hear his words but also everything behind them. Doing this creates a connection so deep that he will immediately feel like he has known you his whole life and that you deeply 'get him.'
4. Spellbind him with caresses
Touch is so important to men. Women use more words than men to connect and men need more touches than women do.
So in the same way that a man's loving words can make you feel special and deeply understood, your tender caresses can make a man feel truly important.
Men love to feel important in the eyes of a woman. It makes them feel like real men.
Touch also helps to soothe a man faster than any words you can offer him, and a woman who can soothe a man is a woman he will love for life.
Men have many stresses on them these days and feeling like there is a soft, feminine woman in their life who can ease that stress will make them shelf their male freedoms and commit.
When you are with a man, take moments when you feel that he needs your reassurance or comfort and give him tender caresses that communicate to him that you care and that you are available for his needs!
When you touch him, let your fingertips be curious about his skin's texture and temperature. Imagine that his skin is delicate and sensitive. These images will help you to touch him with less tension.
Having a high intimacy quotient puts you on the need level with a man as opposed to the want level. What's the difference?
A man can want you, crave you, have to have you... but if he needs you in his life, he not only will strive to be a better man for you, but he will also stick around long-term.
We want a crush, an obsession, a fantasy of an ideal, but we deeply need that one person who makes us feel unconditionally loved and truly seen. Be this woman for him and sweetheart, you will effortlessly lure him in.
Kristina Marchant is a writer and author with a BA in psychology from Barnard College at Columbia University. She is also a relationship coach who advises women on men and healthy relationship skills.