How To Know If You're A Good First Date, According To A Matchmaker

Make each first date a gift for both of you.

Last updated on Aug 01, 2024

Good first date good faces | Unsplash, Yudin_Andrey | Canva
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Let's analyze your most recent first dates. Go ahead, take a plunge into your calendar these past twelve months, and make a list, rating each on a 1-5 scale, with one being milquetoast and five being magical. We're doing some research here to determine the answer to the question: how good of a date are you?

Here's how to know if you're a good first date, according to a matchmaker:

1. Are you the common denominator?

Got your list? Great. Lots of 4's and 5's on that list? No? Uh oh. If this past year's first dates have been mostly monstrous, then we have to ask a critical question: "Who's the common denominator here?" Sadly, darlin', you were present at every one of them. If this past year's dates have been mostly sucky, it's gotta be you who's doing the suckin'. Let's change that

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Remember, dating is full of mystery. You can never know for sure if your next first date will be a satisfying entree of love or if it will be simply a bland appetizer spent with a stranger who will remain just that. It's your time — make it magical no matter what. 

Slightly awkward couple wonders are they good on a first date Krakenimages.com via Shutterstock

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Here are some examples of first dates that were memorable and anything but a waste of time.

2. Do you create a positive atmosphere?

Anna loves the outdoors but works in a stuffy office Monday through Friday, so she often schedules first dates over her lunch hour in the park by her office. She loves providing the environment — the blanket, picnic basket, scrumptious edibles, and even a tiny CD player playing her favorite music. Each of her dates is magical for her, no matter who the other person turns out to be. 

3. Have you considered bringing a gift that reveals something about you?

John's putting two kids through college and wants to land himself in a loving relationship without breaking the bank in the process of finding her, so he does coffee dates, but he always graces the table with a gift — a sweet little flower vase with freshly clipped roses from his garden. He rarely doesn't get a yes for a second date.

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4. Do you apply what you know about the person to your date?

Bill learned from his first call with Kelly that she loved roller coasters, Ferris wheels, and cotton candy, so guess where he took her for their first date? Santa Monica Pier, and 2003 research supports the idea of "roller-coaster-induced excitation transfer" for building attraction. They fell in love over air hockey, burgers, and popcorn. For their first anniversary, she gave him a pinball machine in honor of their first magical date.

5. Would you do a physical activity for a date?

Sam suggested that he and Veronica have their first date at a dog park — He didn't even have a dog, but he knew she did, and he thought that including the dog might make the date more fun. It did. Sarah and Billy's first date? At a rock climbing gym. Susan and Dirk did a yoga class together, then tea and a stroll at sunset. 

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6. Have you ever piqued someone's passion?

In studying her date's online profile, Robin noticed he has a passion for fly-fishing, so she stopped by a bait and tackle store to pick up one of those tiny colorful lures for him — As you might imagine, this made a great impression and he instantly lit up with stories from his fishing adventures. Want a passionate person? Watch them light up when you tickle their passion, research conducted in 2021 says there are four ways to fuel romantic passion.

The lesson? You are the one to make sure each of your first dates is an experience for you and for the person who is fortunate enough to join you on the ride. This new meeting? It's a gift, a present that you get to unwrap. Set the stage for the unwrapping using a little thought and creativity.

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Julie Ferman is a personal matchmaker, consultant, dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, producer of dating industry conferences and events, and blogger. She's been a guest on countless television shows including Good Morning America, The Today Show, Dr. Phil, and Fox News.