5 Signs You're Way Too Available
Being too available can make you seem desperate. Find out how to handle this careful balancing act.
steven andres / Shutterstock Dating is a game and relationships are a balancing act.
Playing hard to get is age-old dating advice.
However, most women have the opposite problem: they are too available.
Men often relate this trait to desperation. So, you don't want to be too available but you don't want to come across as way too hard to get. If it sounds complicated, it can be. What's the perfect balance? Here are five ways to tell if you are too available:
Here are 5 signs you're way too available:
1. Do you accept last-minute dates or invitations from suitors?
If so, you might be too available. Men want women who are wanted by others. He will wonder why nobody else asked you out. It's illogical but true. The best advice is to avoid being available for same day or last minutes requests. A man should ask you out at least 24 hours in advance.
2. Do you always answer the phone when he calls?
This is a red flag for him. The next time he calls, let the call go to voicemail. Men love a challenge and want to feel like they are pursuing a woman. Give him something to chase.
3. Did you instantly allow him to reschedule a date after canceling?
This is a huge mistake. Unless he canceled because of a natural disaster or family emergency, you should not accept another invitation right away. You should turn down his next two invites. If he really wants to make it up to you, then he'll become more persistent.
If he walks away, he never was truly interested. Let him think about you. Let him worry that maybe he's not the only one that has your attention. This will make him want to chase you more.
4. Do you initiate most of the contact (calls, emails, or texts)?
This is a turn-off for most men. They want to chase you — not the other way around. Stop immediately and throw away his phone number. The contact should be initiated by him in the beginning.
5. Are you only dating one guy who hasn't asked or requested an exclusive relationship?
If he hasn't asked to be exclusive, then he is not exclusively dating you. Keep your options open and date more than one guy at a time. This is modern advice, previous dating rules recommended dating only one guy at a time. That advice is now obsolete in the age of the internet.
As you can tell, it's absolutely a balancing act. Being too hard to get can kill the relationship before it starts. But being too available can kill his interest. Dating requires a delicate mix of coy behavior and genuine interest. Walk the right line and you'll capture his heart.
Mary Wright is a contributor to YourTango who writes on dating and love.