6 Immediate Steps To Take If You Feel You Slept With Him A Little Too Soon
It's not the end of the world.
Victoria Romulo | Unsplash He was playful, fun, loving, and exciting. Things moved a little too fast. It's the third date, and you've slept with him. Now what? Apart from not feeling quite so good about yourself, what can you do about it?
Here are 6 immediate steps to take if you feel like you slept with him a little too soon.
1. Foremost, forgive yourself.
Many people have slept together in the very early stages of a relationship and have continued to stay together. Your reaction to the event will determine the outcome, so no regretting or being too hard on yourself. Go to the mirror and say the famous Louise L. Hay quote: "I love you anyway. All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation, only good will come. I am safe." Be kind, be nice, and pour a bubble bath. Be good to yourself.
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2. Don't change a thing.
Have a good cry or scream, call your girlfriend, or run in the Olympics, but whatever you do, do not get into panic mode. Take a deep breath, stop obsessing, and don't contact him out of impulse and fear. Don't social media stalk him or start any other form of nudging or stalking. This is all forbidden. Instead, relax. You are just getting into your head because of a temporary blip along the road. One year from now, this problem won't be important.
3. Be OK with the outcome.
Remember that men do what they want. If he values you, he will give you a call. If he does not follow up with you, you will be OK with that, too. Again, restrain yourself from making the initial contact just because you're panicking. He is probably blissfully thinking about something else, not concerning himself with what you are obsessing about. Your reaction here is crucial to how he follows up with you. Any panicked phone calls are going to turn him off. You cannot take back what happened, so be OK with it. You had fun, you felt comfortable, and you enjoyed yourself. Meet him again with the same confidence and there won't be a problem.
4. Watch the movie He’s Just Not That Into You.
This will prevent you from doing anything illogical. Remember Gigi obsessing and waiting by the phone; do you want to be that girl? Remind yourself how awful it is to make a fool out of yourself. Laugh and cringe at Gigi's common mistakes and swear to yourself that you will not repeat them.
5. Learn from your mistakes.
If the relationship doesn't work out, that is OK. We pick ourselves up, and we learn from our mistakes. Next time, you can choose to do things differently. Be OK with it, easy breezy. After all, you're human, and he was cute, right?
6. Know the facts.
Most relationships fail anyway, so it is important to date often so you can learn from your mistakes. Try different skills and find out what you like. Find out what works and doesn't work then practice becoming great at relationships. Have fun and enjoy yourself — it's part of the life experience!
And the burning question. When do you sleep with someone?
When to sleep with someone is a great question. I don't believe there is any set time limit. Men tend to value women more when they take the time to get to know them little by little. My best advice to you is taken from Evan Marc Katz: "Your sole responsibility before having sex is to figure out if he’s interested in you or sex. If you don’t know the answer, don’t have sex. If you think you know the answer, then have sex. And if you can’t handle the emotional consequences of making an occasional mistake, you probably shouldn’t sleep with anyone until you’re in a committed relationship." And remember, you can't go wrong with the right guy!
Lorna Poole is an international coach and professional speaker. She empowers women to love beyond fear, pain, and regret to attract the partner they truly deserve.