9 Brutally Honest Reasons Why You Never Heard From Him
Something is happening under the surface.
mimagephotography, Карина Каржавина | Canva Have you ever gone out on a date with a man you liked? You were certain you both clicked. Things went well, and you went home hoping for him to call you for a second date. But he just kind of disappeared. Or maybe he trailed off, contacted you a few more times, then stopped.
When men disappear, it’s no accident. What you don't realize is you may be putting out unconscious signals that send him running for the hills. If you can't seem to ever get a guy to call you again after you go on a date, it's time to look at what might be happening under the surface you don't know about.
Here are 9 brutally honest reasons why you never heard from him:
1. He wasn't invested in you in the first place
Sometimes, men will spend time with a woman with no real intention of ever having a long-term relationship with her. In those cases, when your time is up, it’s up. The relationship was never going anywhere anyway, and you’re better off without him. It’s not always necessarily because of how you are, what you said, or what you did. It’s just where his head is at — or is not at, more importantly.
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2. You hinted you're a baby ticking time bomb
Any sniff of baby fever in the "get to know you" stages, and he's out. Men usually take a bit longer than women to emotionally invest themselves, and if you lay all the baby stuff on them too soon, you can fall into the mistake of putting too much pressure on the relationship. It'll freak him out.
When a man decides to go out with you, it's because he's thinking about how you will make his life better and more fun initially. A baby-obsessed woman can scare even the most loyal man away.
3. You mentioned you want to get married — soon
This is a bit like the baby-ticking time bomb and just as lethal. If a man hears about what sort of flowers you want on your wedding day or who might get an invitation before he’s emotionally invested, he’ll run for cover. Avoid this one and save the wedding conversations for a later date. Because if he's a commitment-phobe, this is sure to get rid of him.
4. You acted like one of the guys
Men love women because of what women can offer that a man does not possess himself. Women who play games, act like they don’t need him, or have the "I can do it myself" mentality sometimes come across as masculine in their behavior. Acting this way can be unattractive to some men and will plummet their attraction to you to below zero.
5. You emasculated him
Men want a woman who makes him feel good about himself. He wants a woman who brings out the best version of him. If you do the opposite, then you're heading in the wrong direction.
Men like to feel like the man in the relationship. They need to feel needed. They need to feel wanted and desired by you. So, pay attention to how you treat him or act around him. Is your attitude and behavior making him feel good?
Men like to do nice things for you, so let him — even if you feel like you could do it all by yourself. It's food for the soul to a man when he can provide, protect, and take care of you.
6. You did all the work
Men aren't attracted to a woman who asks him out, calls him, texts him, and then dictates the terms of the relationship to make sure he won't run away. He'll tolerate it, but he probably isn't as invested in the outcome as you are.
7. Dating you was too much work
Being hard and independent can sometimes be a turn-off to men. How can he fit in when you're always too busy and too hard to accept love, kindness, and adoration? If you feel your hard side is letting you down, maybe it's time to lighten up and let him in.
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8. He has his own issues
Understand sometimes, men disappear because of their own stuff. Maybe he just got out of a relationship and is getting back on his feet, or love burned him in the past and he can’t face another relationship right now. Maybe his ex was controlling in his last relationship, and now he just wants to enjoy his freedom. This is the most dangerous guy to lurk with.
Although these men can come across as "good guys with potential," there's a catch. He's not in the right space to give you what you need. You must let him go if he's not stepping up as the kind of boyfriend you need.
9. Your insecure side came out
You're confident until you get him, and then all your insecurities and self-doubt come out to play. You get jealous, start fights, or create drama.
You'll do anything to sabotage the relationship, and the more you love him and the better he treats you, the worse it gets. Remember, this behavior is getting you nowhere. Keep the insecure chick at bay.
Lorna Poole is an international coach and professional speaker. She empowers women to love beyond fear, pain, and regret to attract the partner they truly deserve.