5 Sad Reasons Women Are Dissatisfied With Their Sex Lives
Sound familiar?
getty Most of us have heard that women prefer sleeping to having sex. For many women, this statement proves truer than they would like.
It's not that women don't enjoy having sex or that they get more excitement from other things. The problem is that there are distractions getting in the way of having a satisfying and fulfilling sex life.
The secret to sexual satisfaction lies in that region between the left ear and the right ear (the brain).
When it comes to women and sex, there are a number of things that can run interference with sexual satisfaction.
Here are five blocks to sexual satisfaction and what you can do about them.
1. You have poor communication with your partner.
The quality of the relationship with a partner can seriously impact the quality of a woman's sexual experiences. When a woman is not feeling loved, respected and appreciated by her partner, the last thing she wants to do is have sex with him.
Having sex is directly attached to her emotions. If she is upset, angry or resentful towards her mate, sex is probably not going to happen. If it does happen, it will most likely be out of obligation with little or no satisfaction for her.
What can you do about this problem?
The obvious answer would be to improve the quality of your relationship with your partner. If you focus on improving your relationship first, then your sex will generally improve as a result. Determine what is keeping you from having a satisfying relationship.
Sometimes you can do it on your own by communicating effectively with your partner. If you find yourself doing the same things over and over to no avail, perhaps it's time to call in the professionals. Either way, if your relationship matters to you then it is worth taking action.
2. You have a busy schedule.
Juggling life and its many activities can easily take a toll on a person's sex drive. Many women are having a difficult time managing all of the roles they have in life. After working all day, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, taking children to athletic practice, and going to an advisory board meeting, the last thing on your mind is sex.
What you really want is to find a quiet place to be alone to regroup. Instead of finding sex enjoyable and satisfying, the busy woman sees sex as one more task on to the "to do" list.
What can you do about this problem?
Reduce your load and prioritize your relationship and sex life. While all of those activities may seem necessary, in the big scheme of things, they really aren't as important as maintaining a healthy relationship and sex life with your partner.
Sometimes you may feel like you have to do it all, but you don't. Delegate the activities that you can to someone else.
This is not only beneficial to your sex life, but it is beneficial to your overall well-being. When you cut down on some of your activities, you will find yourself feeling less stressed and your mood will improve.
3. Your sex life has become boring.
Women want more out of their sexual relationships than having sex in the same place, the same way, and at the same time. A predictable sex life is generally associated with a boring sex life, which can lead to dissatisfaction. Sexual boredom is the most likely cause for the statement, "Not tonight, honey."
What can you do about this problem?
Think outside the box. Instead of relegating sex strictly to the bedroom, change it up a bit. Your house is filled with rooms and furniture — use them for sex. You will be amazed at the thrill that simply moving your fun to another room can inspire.
Try a new sexual position. There is always excitement in trying new and different things. Awaken your sexual diva by taking charge of your sexual experiences to keep boredom away.
4. You don't feel sexy anymore.
Many women are not satisfied with the look and feel of their bodies. In America, there is a bit of an obsession with body image. There are unrealistic expectations of being a certain size and looking a certain way. Some women don't feel sexy or attractive because of their perceptions about their bodies.
These beliefs then cross over into their sexual world and hinder them from experiencing satisfaction. There was a study published in The Journal of Sex Research that found that the emphasis in American culture on being young and thin is more influential than menopause when it comes to sexual satisfaction.
What can you do about this problem?
Follow the tried and true rule: "Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative." Find those things you like about your body and yourself, and focus on those areas. When you look in the mirror, stop looking at the flaws and begin looking at the things you admire about yourself.
Tell yourself how beautiful you are. Even if you don't believe it at first, in time you will not only believe it, but you will feel it. Once you begin to feel it, you will want to share it with your beloved.
5. You're sexually frustrated.
Many women are sexually frustrated because they are not getting what they want and need sexually. Most women want more foreplay, more intimacy, and for their partners to last longer.
When a woman feels like a "piece of meat" or a "mounting block," she is less likely to be turned on to experience sexual pleasure, which in turn results in a lack of satisfaction.
What can you do about this problem?
Ask for what you want. Conversations about sex should be had long before the act. When you are aware of what you want and need, it is imperative to let your partner know. Contrary to popular belief, your partner doesn't automatically know what turns you on sexually or what you need to be satisfied.
Women who are sexually satisfied enjoy their partner, make time for regular sex, are confident and sexually aware, and know how to ask for what they want. Having a satisfying and fulfilling sex life brings you closer to your partner and enhances your over all well-being.
Having a satisfying sex life also has great health benefits. It boosts your immune system, helps minimize pain and headaches, burns calories, helps you stay younger looking, reduces stress and a whole lot more.
LaTricia Smith is a certified relationship coach who specializes in helping singles and couples have successful, long-term relationships. She founded her own coaching practice, A Stronger Bond.