3 Tiny Things Women Should Never Give Up In A Relationship
Don't trade yourself for an unhappy relationship.
Mariela Ferbo | Unsplash Getting into a new relationship is hard, but women often give up parts of their lives as they step into a life with their new partner. Not only can that lead to resentment and frustration over time, but it can also pave the way for a lonely, unhappy relationship.
Here are 3 tiny things women should never give up in a relationship:
1. Their feminine energy
It’s the women who charge the heteronormative relationship with more emotional depth. While the cis-guys are mainly concerned with facts (where to go, and what to eat ), she’s interested in what’s below the surface. She contemplates the feelings. In men, competitive social conditioning causes them to seek a power position — to compete and to be sensitive to territorial threats from other men. Men want the unique feminine qualities women bring. They don’t seek the competitive, logical relationship they can find with other guys.
Oxytocin is the vital hormone that gives people the ability to seek connection and bonding. This is a gift for men in cis-het relationships because they love watching their female partners bond with their family and friends. Women bring something crucial into the male-female duo. So, in a romance, bring your empathy, all your relational skills, and flowing, holistic dialog into the relationship.
2. Their individuality
When we are attracted to someone, we accidentally transfer our attitudes, beliefs, values, and feelings onto them. We assume they are like us, and often, it’s an unconscious assumption. We come to expect things that won’t happen. The first problem with assuming is that you don’t feel the need to communicate. Your relationship would be enhanced if you two spoke more to each other. The second problem is that unmet expectations lead to disappointment, which, if repeated, can lead to hurt or resentment.
The good news for women is men expect so much less from a relationship, so they’re easier. If she relaxes more around him, smiles, and touches him, he is happier, and it’s good for her to get a break from her busy mind. The bad news is that women’s expectations of a relationship aren’t met.
3. Their friends
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Friendships with your girls are what stave off loneliness. Many women — for at least part of their lives — will go in and out of relationships with male romantic partners, and they will see their relationships with women as foundational and steady throughout their lifetimes.
Female friends provide critical emotional support and provide openness and bonding. Men give support by giving advice, which can feel like being pressured into something, while women offer acceptance and validation, which feel good.
Women’s permeable personal boundaries allow them to let others in.
Kathryn Foster, Ph.D., is a psychologist who practices psychotherapy. She's written a ground-breaking book on the neuroscience of romance, called The Naked Truth About Men (And Romance).