3 Quick Tricks You Can Do To Make Yourself More Likeable
Instantly.
Look Studio / Shutterstock Everyone wants to be liked. I don’t think anyone (other than Donald Trump) feeds off of negativity and hate. For the most part, we regular folk, like to be liked. It’s part of our human nature, and there is nothing wrong with that.
But there are some habits, traits, qualities, and practices that people do or have that are irksome to others. Some of these quirks are unbeknownst to us, which can contribute to someone not liking us.
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Because likability is crucial in dating, I wanted to draw your attention to some things over which you have control. So I thought I would share some easy tricks that make you more likable to women. I should preface this by saying that these are tricks to make you more likable in a face-to-face setting.
Here are 3 tricks on how to make people like you more:
1. Lean in.
When someone is talking to you and you communicate that you’re listening and interested in what your speaking partner has to say, then lean in. Leaning in is a non-verbal way to show that you’re engaged in the conversation. This is very simple and very important if you want people to like you and enjoy talking to you.
Leaning in makes people feel important and heard. Lean in softly to show that you want to be there, you want to listen, and you enjoy being there so much that you don’t want to miss a word that your speaking partner is saying.
2. Ask thoughtful questions.
When we converse with people, it’s easy to fall into the small talk trap. To avoid boring niceties, and to really try to form a connection with someone, ask them questions about themselves. Ask people questions that are more interesting than, "Where are you from?"
Ask questions that make a person think. For example, let’s say you’re on a first date with a girl and you want her to go on a second date with you; this conversation is going to be pretty important. So get her talking about herself and her passions.
Ask questions like, "What do you do in your spare time?", "What made you choose the career you’re currently in?", and "If money wasn’t an issue, what would you want to spend your time doing?"
When you get people excited to share their stories with you, it makes them want to spend more time with you because this is a topic that they are experts on themselves. So ask thoughtful and thought-provoking questions to make yourself seem like the best candidate to date.
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3. Use the other person's name a lot.
Don’t actually say my name, but say the woman’s name with whom you are speaking; say "her" name. People love the sound of their own names.
Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People says words to the effect that a person’s name is the sweetest and most important in any language. Using someone’s name communicates respect and acceptance, which leads to trust and liking.
When we’re born, our name is how we individualize ourselves. It’s how we distinguish ourselves from others. It’s our title, our identification, and it can often tie us to our family and the larger community. So it’s no shock that we love hearing it.
So when you use someone’s name, it pulls them into you because you have recognized them as unique individuals. This makes that person more drawn to you.
If we think of the opposite scenario, when someone forgets our name, it makes us feel just that: forgettable, which is no way to make someone like you, let alone become attracted to you. It’s hurtful when we feel like we don’t leave enough of an impression on someone that they can’t even remember our name.
It’s so simple. So it makes sense that when you want someone to like you, in conversation, you say their name.
These are just some very simple ways that you can make yourself more attractive to be around. You can use these in romantic situations, in the workplace, and in school, for example. They are meant to help you get ahead in life.
Kate Spring is a men’s dating & attraction coach from Vancouver, Canada. Visit her acclaimed YouTube channel or check out her latest blog posts on her website.