15 Tell-Tale Signs You're About To Get Dumped
Signs you're headed for Splitsville.
martin-dm | Canva Most of us go into relationships with the best of intentions. We put our best foot forward in the first few weeks or months and anticipate the relationship will grow and go the distance.
We introduce our partner to our friends and family with the hope of getting the vote of approval, and we're proud to show them off to the world. Often, we share our dreams for the future, plan holidays and vacations, and learn the fine art of compromising in a relationship because we know it's worth it.
Sometimes, outside influences can attack our relationship, resulting in inevitable bumps in the road. At these times, we look at our partner and either deal favorably with conflict resolution or, sadly, our ego sometimes gets in the way, and we end up heading for a fall.
From financial issues to family stress, from the romantic gestures from an outsider at work to juggling the schedules of children — even job pressures can affect the best of relationships. Here are a few signs of a breakup, or if it's just a bump on the road that hopefully will become a distant memory.
Here are 15 tell-tale signs you're about to get dumped:
1. They stop sending regular text messages
If your significant other used to start their day with a good morning text and a good night text, but those have disappeared, chances are the relationship could be fizzling out.
2. Phone calls are reduced
If your sweetie usually calls you routinely on their lunch break, while driving home from work, or before bedtime when you're not together, and the calls have been reduced to once a day or a few times a week, they may be disengaging from the relationship.
3. Pet names disappear
They go from affectionately saying, "It's me!" to leaving messages with their first or full name, assuming the familiarity and romance are on their way out. Affectionate pet names are part of a relationship. It's what makes you unique as a couple and puts a smile on your face.
4. Plans are made without you in mind
If your routine is to see each other a few times a week and on weekends, then suddenly your significant other decides to go out for drinks with friends and go home alone instead of into your arms, assume they are creating more distance and are open to the possibilities of meeting someone else.
5. Future talks are put on hold
If you have been discussing living together or planning a vacation, and now you're not sure when you'll be getting together, your relationship suddenly might become a short-term affair. It's not with someone who wants to go the distance anymore.
6. Intimacy dissipates
Having healthy intimacy creates bonding in a relationship. If your lover doubts the relationship, intimacy is often the first thing to disappear. When your love life goes from "hot" to "not," there's a possibility your partner is detaching from the relationship.
7. They spend overnights alone at home
If you've been on a regular schedule of overnights with your sweetie and now sleep apart and alone, it's only a matter of time before the "I'm not feeling it" conversation follows.
8. PDA disappears
If you're the kind of affectionate couple who holds hands in public and loves cuddling at night, and suddenly you find yourself sleeping on your side of the bed, there could be trouble in paradise. If the welcome home kisses are no longer part of your regime, it's one of the signs of a looming breakup.
9. Grooming habits change
From getting a surprise Brazilian bikini wax, sporting an unmentioned new hairstyle, spontaneously joining a gym, starting a new diet on a whim, to getting a new wardrobe at the drop of a hat. When your significant other starts to change their looks without warning and takes more time to focus on their appearance, they might have someone in mind other than you.
10. They become attached to their phone
If suddenly your sweetheart pays more attention to their phone than you, if they stare at text messages and spend more time on social media while sitting next to you, you have just become lower in priority than their smartphone. If they go into another room to secretly respond to a text or a phone call or turn their phone upside down so you won't see who's texting or calling, there's probably trouble in paradise.
11. Titles disappear
If you've been introduced as the girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner and suddenly you're being introduced, "This is Janet," there could be trouble on the horizon, or you might be moving into the friend zone.
12. Their online dating profile is reactivated
If you met online but unplugged your profiles to be exclusive, don't be surprised when one of you starts fishing to look for Plan B. Typically, before a breakup, someone may view their options before making a clean break.
13. Social media contact disappears
If your partner loved staring at your posts and comments to feel closer to you while at work, and suddenly they are liking and commenting on everyone else's posts instead of yours, know you're slowly being removed from their life and are a step away from being unfriended so you can't see their whereabouts.
14. Invitations are declined
If your social calendar is filled with fun events to attend every week and suddenly your sweetie declines to go with you, even though they have nothing else on the calendar for that night, it's a tell-tale sign they're pulling away and don't see you in their future.
15. You're thinking of breaking up
If the thought of breaking up is on your mind, you've put together your pros and cons list about your relationship, or you think you might need some space, chances are your sweetie may be thinking the same. The end may be near.
What should you do if you can relate to most items on this list?
Before you toss your relationship away, understand that feelings can fluctuate. If the flow has been disrupted by most of these relationship issues, you might be headed for Splitsville.
Before you pull out the tissue box and think it's over, take the time to talk to your partner about how important they are in your life. Acknowledge a shift in the relationship has happened and ask if any outside stressors are affecting the two of you. One of you might still be brewing about something that happened over a month ago, so an apology needs to be made if your partner feels resentful about something or misunderstood.
Acknowledge how affectionate you used to be and let your partner know you miss those warm and fuzzy happy times and would love to get back on track. Take the time to listen to your partner’s concerns. If you think this is a relationship worth fighting for, let your partner know you don’t want to make an impulsive and abrupt decision about calling it quits that you might regret. Ask how you can help bring back the romance in your life.
If your partner isn't feeling it for you anymore, don't fight it or try to change their mind. Thank them for the memories and start the healing process. I know it hurts to have another failed relationship, but I also know someone special is out there waiting for you. You just haven't met them yet.
Julie Spira is a proud and dedicated award-winning dating coach, online dating and mobile dating expert, and internationally-known bestselling author. Who has appeared on popular apps, including Bumble, eHarmony, JDate, JWed, Match, Our Time, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and Zoosk