Why You Always Feel Drained In Relationships —​ And 4 Ways To Get Your Power Back

You deserve better.

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Do you find yourself working hard to keep your relationships going, only for your partner to refuse make the same effort?

I know all too well how that feels. Trying to keep a relationship afloat used to take up all my thoughts and energy.

I remember feeling like the sheer effort of it all was swallowing up my life force. What’s worse, I never got enough back from a man to make it worth it. I could never feel "filled up inside".

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Then, I discovered that this was exactly the problem: I was trying to get a man to make me feel better. I had given up my power.

It took a lot of broken relationships and my heart in pieces to finally figure out what had eluded me for so very long. I needed to get my power back, along with my confidence and innate self-esteem.

RELATED: What Unconditional Love Looks Like In Healthy Relationships

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The truth is, depending on your partner to feel good always backfires.

I finally saw that the good feelings I was so desperate to have from a man weren’t possible if I wasn’t feeling good about myself, to begin with. I needed to take back my power.

To put an end to this vicious cycle, you need to get your power back. Here are 4 ways to get started. 

1. Imagine that your attractiveness is boundless.

Think about how your eyes are magnets, your heart is an open pool of gold that every man wants to dive into, and your body — no matter what you think about it — is a lush place that every man longs for.

Imagine your partner feeling awestruck just thinking about getting close to you and, yet, feels safe within. Really imagine that that’s what he sees, thinks, and feels about you.

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Paint this picture of boundless attractiveness for yourself in your imagination right now, this moment, and keep it going all day and night, no matter what happens.

2. Avoid any negativity.

When any doubts, fears, and negative thoughts come up, simply tell them to step aside.

RELATED: 25 Sure Signs You're Really, Truly — Finally — Ready For A Relationship

3. Welcome the good feelings.

Once that imaginary picture is in your mind and the good feelings it brings are in your heart and body, you’ll notice something amazing happening.

When you’re at the market, the drugstore, walking down the street, or just waiting in line at the coffee house, you will begin to experience yourself as a magnet for potential future partners.

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4. Lean back.

Tilt your body backwards to keep your energy in "receiving" mode while you’re imagining every man you meet, especially the one you may be in a relationship with right now, giving energy to you.

And, then, watch the magic unfold.

Once you start practicing these tools and make them a habit every day, you’ll find that your love life is taking a huge leap in the right direction.

Why? Because you have created the very feelings within you that you have so desperately tried to get from a man. And that is very empowering — not to mention, extremely attractive.

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Practicing these tools and mastering them is the first step to feeling so good and so at ease within yourself that men will literally be flocking to be by your side.

They’ll want to know what it is that makes you feel so confident, and they’ll want to get in on your "I’m all that!"

RELATED: The 5 Stages Of A Relationship All Couples Go Through, According To Science

Rori Raye is a trained relationship coach who’s helped thousands of women transform their love lives. For more dating and relationship advice, subscribe to her free newsletter.