Why Too Much Texting Is Destroying Your Dating Life (No, Seriously)
No technology can replace face-to-face.
Monkey Business Images, South_agency | Canva About ten years ago texting rapidly changed the way we meet and communicate with potential new dates.
Since then, singles have let their fingers do the talking for a variety of reasons:
Up to 38 percent of singles aged 21-50 (men and women) say it's an easy way to set up a date.
It minimizes initial rejection and allows people to make a quick exit.
It's a safer way to flirt since you can plan a smart quip and avoid awkward silences that crop up on the phone or in person.
It's more casual than the phone and is considered less intrusive.
It takes a lot less energy with short comments that get the point across quickly.
It provides more control over conversation length versus the phone which can use up a lot of time.
Here's why texting is so dangerous to your dating life:
1. It's too little, too much
I've heard a lot about texting while dating from my dating coaching clients.
Some men love to text sweet little comments daily but never take things to the next level to have a conversation or ask women out.
In turn, these women feel frustrated and confused by their texting relationships.
On the flip side, some women text every detail of their day, which men feel is over-communicating and invasive.
Mostly, singles enjoy the convenience and casualness of texting but there is a major social downside to this trend.
People are not building face-to-face conversation and flirting skills. After so much texting, this makes the first real-life meetings potentially more difficult than ever.
2. You don't hear their voice
Texting has become the preferred first stage of getting to know someone when dating.
Communication is far less intimate when you don't hear someone else speaking. So much information can be picked up from someone's voice. The inflections and nuances often give away emotional cues that are completely missing when you text.
Related:
3. Fear of rejection limits opportunity
As singles seek to lower their social risk and avoid rejection, they are likely to make snap decisions and cut off the people they are text-dating thereby limiting their love opportunities.
In addition, hiding behind technology can backfire in the long run, as your willingness to be social diminishes over time.
The lower number of attendees showing up for singles dances and events, like mixers, is evidence this is already happening.
The good news is if you're good at (and enjoy!) talking to people live and in person, your odds of finding love are going up!
4. Spontaneity of meeting new people disappears
This is why my dating advice is to practice flirting on a daily basis by smiling at men, striking up a conversation and simply being friendly.
These are all things you can't do from behind a phone.
Texting is great for quick communication to set up a date, send a quick hello, or share a fun photo. But it cannot replace traditional methods of dating that help you really get to know a person.
Conversations still need to be a mix of face-to-face, telephone calls, and texting in order for intimacy to develop and a deeper connection to blossom.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach and Past Life Reader. Her audio course, How to Ask the Universe for a Sign is available for anyone looking for answers