What To Do If The Relationship With Your Twin Flame Doesn't Work Out
Soulmates realistically feel and experience the ebb and flow of love.
unsplash / Estela Shaddix When you've met your twin flame, falling out of love is the last thing you want to happen.
That’s why it feels so good and so right to be in a relationship with a twin flame — but it can also be a rather tumultuous relationship.
"Love creates new form, changes matter, and holds the cosmos together beyond time and space. It’s in every one of us. It’s what God is."
This quote by beloved author Wayne Dyer suggests that love is truly what makes the world go round!
What is a twin flame?
According to the Law of Attraction, "a twin flame is the other half of your soul." They are not the same as soulmates.
Sometimes, the relationship between twin flames continues to grow, expand, and evolve over time. When this happens, the two remain happily coupled for many years or even a lifetime.
Other times, the form of the relationship must change in order for one or both individuals to continue to expand.
So what happens when you fall out of love with your twin flame? Does that mean the connection you once had is gone forever and there is no more possibility for expansion?
Not necessarily.
Actually, by allowing the relationship to change its form, it can continue to be a nourishing and beneficial part of your life. A healthy relationship will last for as long as you do everything you can to maintain it.
So, if you feel like you're falling out of love with your twin flame, here are 3 principles of love you need to remember and embrace.
1. Recognize this person as a catalyst for your growth, not the source of it
The good feelings you associated with your twin flame had less to do with them than you may think. The sensation we describe as falling in love is really the experience of coming back into energetic alignment with ourselves.
The other person becomes an object of attention that feels great to focus on. In them, we see possibilities for our lives we may never have seen before.
Suddenly, we’re inspired; we have more energy and creativity, and we see all things from a fresh perspective.
Twin flame relationships awaken us to our latent potential and unrealized possibility.
They mirror back to us parts of ourselves we haven’t before seen or have become disconnected from. That’s one of the reasons they’re so attractive.
Given the intensity of the connection, we feel let down —even depressed — when a twin flame relationship loses its spark.
But, remember that the fire that your twin flame ignited still exists within you. They were a catalyst to your connection; not the source or the cause of it.
You have the ability to stoke that fire and to keep the flames burning brightly.
Ask yourself introspective questions, such as:
- "Which of my positive aspects did my relationship with my twin flame inspire?"
- "What did I love most about myself as I related to that person?"
- "What strengths or wisdom do I now possess as a result of our relationship?"
2. Embody the changes you wanted your twin flame to make
When relationships begin to fall apart, it’s easy to focus on all the things the other person "should" change. If only they were more communicative — or more spiritual, more committed, or more affectionate — the relationship could have continued.
But, to hold the other person responsible for our falling out of love does two very unproductive, disempowering things.
First, it causes us to focus on their behavior, which is something over which we have absolutely no control. And second, it may keep us from making important changes within ourselves.
The qualities, character traits, and behaviors we find the most intolerable in others can provide us valuable information about ourselves.
You can use what you perceive as your twin flame’s shortcomings as a catalyst for your own growth.
If you felt they’re not as committed to their spiritual practice as you would have liked, commit more fully to yours. If you always wished they were more into spending time in nature, spend more time in nature yourself.
Be the person you want to be, now. This will free your twin flame from your projections and it will also free you to be the best version of yourself you can be.
3. Bless your twin flame for the role they played in your evolution
Falling out of love with someone doesn’t mean we need to negate the positive impact they’ve had in our lives.
In fact, to do so is to deny ourselves a valuable piece of our own evolution.
What clarity did your twin flame evoke within you about the type of relationship you now desire? What wisdom or strengths did he or she help you to strengthen within yourself?
Acknowledge the many ways your twin flame has contributed to your life and bless them for the role that they played.
Christy Whitman is a transformational leader, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance. For more insights like these on how to create joyous, fulfilling relationships, join her on her Conscious, Connected Coupling Podcast or visit her website.