To The 20-Something Lost Souls Who Are Confused About Life
The top 5 things I wish I knew in my 20s to live a better life.
I was so selfish in my 20's. I took most everything for granted and never fully appreciated the moments that flew by.
I've been abused both emotionally and physically. I've been financially unstable. I've lost myself in someone else. And all this was in my 20-something life.
There is no how to guide on living your life. There's no manual that lays out what to do in life and ways to approach or avoid every situation. Had I known what I know now when I was 20-something, I would have lived so differently.
Here is my advice for people in their 20's who feel like they're lost souls:
1. Life doesn't happen according to your plan.
I don't run the world and the world is going to be the way it is and I have no control over it. I may have laid out a step-by-step plan of what I had planned for myself.
But here I am today telling all 20-somethings that there are inevitable things that will happen in your life despite your plans and what you wanted.
It may be death, friendships both new and old, or the end of a relationship. Regardless of why, you will at some point have to alter your life plan. And that's okay.
2. You are going to have your heart crushed but you will make it.
I've been through the ringer when it comes to relationships. I sure know how to pick them!
I wish I had taken those heartbreaks and painful experiences and actually learned from them and grew as a person. I may have been able to learn more about myself and avoided other awful heartbreaks.
But such is life — we all will have our heart broken at some point in our lives. Rather than be bitter, make use of it. Make the pain serve a purpose for your future.
3. Be healthy.
Never in my 20's did I ever imagine I would suffer from chronic illnesses. I took it for granted and took advantage of how good I felt that I neglected my overall health.
Stop running around all over the place. Slow down. You shouldn't be in a rush all the time. Slow down and be in the moment. You can't and won't get it back.
I would oversleep or not sleep enough. I would always feel the need to be doing something. And sometimes, I have to slow down and tell myself that now!
But maybe had I slowed down in general back then, I would have been better able to cope with my chronic illnesses or maybe have one less.
4. Don't be so judgmental.
I used to judge everything under the sun without reason or proof to back up those judgments. Now, karma is teaching me the lesson of what it's like to be judged for no good reason. And it's awful.
Everyone is fighting some battle in their lives whether it be finding your true self or going through a breakup. Try to understand that and you'll most likely lessen the amount you judge or criticize people.
5. Find yourself.
I wish I had built a solid foundation of who I was and who I aspired to be later on. Maybe if I did that, I would have had my worth left up to someone else or something outside of myself.
You need to take the time to be alone to know what you want. You need to do this also to find out what you like and don't like. What you're willing to compromise or not. Figure out what you value and if you value one thing over another.
It is only at that time during your life when you've figured out who you are when you become ready to be in any type of serious relationship with another. Define your worth. It comes from within, not from outside.
Knowing what I know now in my 30's, I am going to live it up and appreciate all the moments — big or small. I have new found appreciation and gratitude for life and those in my life.
To the other 20-something know-it-all's out there, you don't know a damn thing. Slow down and actually listen to people and take it in.
I can offer my knowledge and wisdom having gone through the same thing in my 20's. Only if you're willing to take it. And until then, you'll walk the same path I did which I hope you'll come to realize isn't worth the lost time and moments you can't get back.
Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.
Watch this humorous video from Buzzfeed about the difference between life in your 20's verus your 30's: