How To Get Your Ex Back While Social Distancing
You can fix your broken relationship during this pandemic.
getty You want to know how to get your ex back because you miss them so badly, but how can you when you’re both stuck at home?
The social distancing measures imposed during the COVID-19 outbreak can pose huge challenges for those trying to win their ex back.
Believe it or not, some aspects of this pandemic can actually make it easier, if you play your cards right.
Here are 3 reasons why.
1. Social distancing is "no contact."
The first piece of advice anyone needs to know about winning an ex back is with a "no contact" period. This means that you take 30 days away from your ex, take a break from begging and pleading, and focus on yourself and making your life better.
Social distancing actually gives you a great excuse to stay clear of your ex entirely, under the guise of taking care of not only yourself but them, as well.
Basically, you’re saying, "I care about you too much to even think about risking your health and safety by seeing you in person." This is a small distinction, but an important one when it comes to how your ex perceives this "no contact" period.
There’s no chance that they’ll see you as rude or standoffish. Instead, you’ll come across as a responsible citizen, doing your part to flatten the curve.
2. Familiarity breeds trust.
Social distancing alone hardly sets you apart from other people doing the same thing, so how can it give you the edge when trying to win your ex’s heart?
The truth is that you couldn’t ask for a better situation to reconnect with your ex. You see, your ex’s romantic prospects during this time are basically zero.
Social distancing means you're unable to see even your closest friends, much less go out and meet new people. Restaurants, bars, gyms, public parks, the workplace — all the spots we could go to meet new people — are mostly closed.
There’s online dating, but in reality, it's just a means to an end so we can connect with people we find attractive in order to eventually meet them in person.
If your ex decides to try to pursue a relationship with someone entirely online, they’ll quickly realize that video chats and phone calls pale in comparison to face-to-face interactions, especially when it comes to meeting someone new.
You can easily talk to an old friend on the phone for hours, but it’s very difficult to get to know someone new entirely online.
That’s where you come in. You’re a person they know and trust. You have a shared history full of inside jokes and deep understanding.
While this has no bearing on the likelihood that you’ve contracted the disease, they perceive you as safe and comforting — something that everyone is looking for during this difficult time.
3. The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.
The truth is that "no contact" doesn’t work in 100 percent of cases.
Some people are relieved to be left alone by their annoying ex. They get a chance to move on with their lives. But due to coronavirus, their outlook will be quite different.
Since your ex is being kept away from you by a force outside of their control, they’ll resent the imposition and it will make them desire you more than ever. This is the power of perspective.
In reality, you’d be undergoing the same "no contact" period if social distancing wasn’t in place. But, because the choice has been taken away from them, your ex will ache for your presence and your touch.
But what about the breakup? How does this pandemic change anything if you broke up for a good reason?
Psychology tells us that any threat to our mortality makes us think about what’s really important in our lives — the people we care about.
In the face of potential disease, whatever problems led to the breakup will seem insignificant.
Take two common reasons for a breakup: jealousy and clinginess. In a world turned upside-down by the coronavirus, where millions are out of work and the future is completely uncertain, a little jealousy in a relationship doesn’t seem that bad at all.
This complete upheaval of the social order makes us much more willing to forgive and forget each other’s shortcomings and come together.
Tired of your ex sending mixed messages? This unprecedented time may put an end to the insecurity and games.
Add to that the desperation and fear we’re all feeling and the overwhelming desire for a return to normalcy, your ex will jump at the chance to reconnect.
Here are 2 steps to win your ex back while social distancing.
1. Reach out.
The pandemic gives you an opening. It’s reasonable for you to reach out to the people you care about to check in with them during this time.
There are plenty of reasons to contact someone you care about — you want to see how the shutdown is affecting their work, to check how their family is doing, to offer apologies if they had to cancel some important plans, and, of course, to inquire about their health.
Figure out which of these would make the most sense for you and use it as your opener to reach out.
2. Apologize for your role in the breakup.
I often advise against expressing regret or apologizing to your ex in this early stage of reconnecting, but the pandemic does present an alternative here.
Any threat to our lives gives us a new perspective on our past actions and makes us eager to make peace. That’s why it would be reasonable if this situation has caused you to rethink your role in the breakup and offer an apology for whatever it was you did wrong.
I advise you not to use this tactic if it isn’t how you really feel, so really explore your own emotions before offering your ex an apology.
Explain to them how the pandemic has made you realize what’s important to you — your relationship with them.
This openness and honesty is a powerful opportunity for connection between the two of you.
RELATED: 5 Reasons Why Your Dating Anxiety Is High During Social Distancing
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and breakup expert from Vancouver, Canada. He has 10 years of experience working with couples to repair and improve relationships.