Woman Questions If It's A 'Red Flag' That Her 40-Year-Old Husband Has Been In College For 20 Years

He's a professional college student.

graduate at graduation Cole Keister / Unsplash
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A woman is worried that her husband's current occupation might be seen as something others would consider a "red flag."

Posting to the subreddit r/NoStupidQuestions, she explained that her husband's current job position is that of a college student and that he's been attending for the past two decades. The issue for her is that she's worried about how other people will view him.

She shared that her 40-year-old husband has been in university for 20 years.

In her Reddit post, she wrote that her husband has been getting paid the equivalent of $40,000 a year to attend the same university that he's been going to for the past 20 years. The university, located in Australia, offers a scholarship to Aboriginal students every year, which her husband qualifies for.

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"He's been the only applicant in some time," she revealed. "He gets it every year. But he also gets age-based grants and bursaries, none of [which] needs to be paid back." 

When asked about what he does for a living, she said he will describe himself as a "career student" since he loves being in school and has no problem continuing to do so. Over the years, he's accumulated a plethora of degrees in linguistics, chemistry, computer science, and accounting, and is currently working toward a physics degree.

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person holding graduation cap in the airPhoto: RUT MIIT / Unsplash

"He's the smartest person I know. He says he stays in school because it's his 'hobby' and he's paid a pretty penny for it. We're completely debt free," she continued. While acknowledging that their relationship is rather unique, she has no problem with him spending all of his time still in school.

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Despite not having an issue with it, she does wish she could see him apply himself to activities outside of a school setting.

"I want to know what other people think of it. It's not something I generally tell my friends, just that he's in school part-time and doing other things," she wrote. However, his being a college student does put food on their table due to 10 plus hours of commitment he puts into school, and while they don't live in luxury, they have a comfortable lifestyle. 

Though it may seem unconventional to some people, it's not uncommon for people to either continue going to school or go back altogether later in life. According to a National Center of Education Statistics report, 17% of part-time undergraduates attending public four-year institutions are 35 and older.

man in graduation outfitPhoto: Reshetnikov_art / Shutterstock

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There are a plethora of benefits to older generations of people continuing to stay and school and learn. By staying in college, people in their 40s can acquire the necessary credentials or update their expertise to stay competitive in the job market.

Many individuals even find personal satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment in pursuing further education, which seems to be the case for this woman's husband. The pursuit of knowledge can be intellectually stimulating, helping people explore their interests and passions.

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Many people in the comments agreed that it's not a 'red flag' but rather the best 'hobby' her husband could have.

"It sounds like he's not amassing crippling debt and he's providing for both of your needs. Doesn't seem like a red flag to me," one Reddit user pointed out.

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"As long as you're comfortable with it then that's an awesome way to live. Don't let societal expectations ruin something awesome."

Another user agreed and even pondered how they would be able to do such a thing, writing, "How do I get paid to go to school? I want to go back to school, but I can't afford to take the time off work."

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However, other people disagreed and felt that this woman's husband might be taking advantage of something that could be used to help other Aboriginal students.

"This money should be helping multiple Aboriginal students gain the skills and knowledge they need to flourish and be role models to others in their communities," a third user chimed in. "The university is not making any effort to recruit students."

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A fourth user agreed, adding, "This usage of the scholarship really rubs me the wrong way. One man is f-king around and having fun with money and opportunity that could have helped 4 other people get university educations."

While it seems to be a slippery slope, returning to school or continuing education is a choice that everyone should be allowed to make. There should be a slew of factors to consider, of course, but at the end of the day, those who choose to pursue education later in life can benefit in both a personal and professional setting.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.

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