Woman Claims She's Going To Start Speaking To Men The Way A Teacher Talks To Preschoolers
Clear communication is key... but maybe don't make it sound like you're talking to a preschooler.
@haley_mg1 / TikTok A woman on TikTok named Haley recently went viral after uploading a video filled with phrases that she would use in order to communicate with the men she gets romantically involved with.
The original video she stitched made an effort to claim that men need to get better at communicating in relationships, and Haley had the perfect solution.
She explained how to communicate with men like a teacher would with preschoolers.
“I think I'm gonna start talking to men the way I talk to my preschool students,” claims the woman Haley stitched into her video, followed by 33 seconds of Haley talking to her viewers as if they were preschoolers/men she was romantically involved with.
“Nice words are no words at all!” she says, to begin her portion of the video. “Up! All done. All done. Let's go charge our listening ears. Are we having big feelings?”
As she goes on and on with phrases like “1 2 3. All eyes on me” and “You can either be nice to me or be single,” it becomes clear that the main component of these new dialogue choices is that communication needs to be clearly relayed in order for men to understand.
“Make good choices. Whoa! Those are big emotions, Bud. Do you understand me? Should I repeat myself?” she continues on. And although at some points it may feel condescending to men (maybe it really is), it’s important to emphasize just how much clear communication in relationships matters.
You should be asking your partner if they’re having “big feelings,” talking about each other’s problems is key in tackling the main issues that either you or your partner might be having in regard to the structure of your relationship.
Telling your partner to “be nice” or “be single” can be equated to communicating your wants and needs. Who doesn’t want their partner to be nice to them?
“Oh, I like how my friend over here is deciding to use his words, right?” she continues on. “Look at me while I'm talking to you so I know you're listening.”
Communicating more clearly is an effective way to talk to your partner.
Marriage and couples counselors Mary Ellen Goggin and Jerry Duberstein told YourTango in June 2022 that couples should be honest and open with each other. “Do you really want your spouse to talk more... or listen more?” they ask. “Good and effective communication is healthy reciprocity of both.”
Instead of the condescending “charge your listening ears,” ask your partner to listen instead of talking more when you’re trying to talk with them about a specific issue.
Similarly, don’t expect certain things from your partner unless they are communicated clearly. “It’s incredibly unfair not to take responsibility for communicating what you [want] or [need] if you expect the other person to fulfill it,” they said. “Inevitably your spouse won’t read your mind correctly, and both of you will end up resentful.”
Setting up expectations for your partner that they are unaware of is setting yourself up for failure. Clear communication of your expectations, “Be nice or be single,” should always come first.
Of course, the men you are dating should not be spoken to as preschoolers (no matter how difficult they may be), but there is something important in the clarity with which we speak to kids. The simplifying of the language we use in order for kids to understand may actually be the key in figuring out how to communicate effectively with your partner.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.