Woman Refuses To Let Her Daughter's Half-Sister Spend Christmas With Them Even Though Her Mom Is Dying
Her family celebration is "sacred."
Pexels / Any Lane A subreddit community called “r/AmItheA-–Hole” is bubbling with stories about conflict and drama — whether that include family, co-workers, or friends.
One woman wanted to know if she was the “A–-hole” for not allowing her ex-husband’s daughter to join her family for Christmas.
She ignored her daughter's relationship with her half-sister and refused to let her come over.
The post began with the woman describing the divorce from her ex-husband, and how they both share custody of their 13-year-old daughter.
The ex was remarried to a different woman and had a 5-year-old daughter of their own.
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The half-sisters “adore” each other but the 5-year-old doesn’t go to the woman's house very often.
Her ex-husband’s wife had been recently diagnosed with cancer, and he came over to the house one day to inform her.
“He said it wasn't fair for his daughter and asked if I could 'include' her in my family's celebration,” she wrote.
She refused to meet her ex-husband's demands.
“He pointed out how the girls will have a great time together bonding and making memories,” wrote the mother. “I said I was sorry but my family's traditional celebration is a sacred thing and I do not feel comfortable including anyone else.”
“He said that his daughter may not be family to me but she sure is to her half-sister.”
The ex-husband told her “to stop and 'think' about what's best for the kids here.”
She suggested that he take the 5-year-old to her grandparent's house. Unfortunately, she found out that he was not speaking with his parents.
Despite the family issues, she continued to refuse.
She emphasized that her “family’s traditional celebration” was "sacred," but the ex-husband didn’t feel that was enough.
He “started going on about how cruel it was for me to decline to include his daughter who's already having a hard time adjusting.”
Devastated by her stubbornness, the ex-husband began to cry. She was no longer comfortable having the conversation if tears were involved, and so she asked him to leave.
Later on, he texted her and once again asked her to agree.
The father “even offered that he stays away if that'll make me less uncomfortable,” and yet, she still refused.
Because of her refusal, he called her “selfish” and “unfeeling.”
The post ended with: “A point worth mentioning here and that is my family are going to attend and they said that they too will not feel comfortable in this situation thus I said it'd be awkward.”
Readers were split on whether or not she was in the wrong.
One reader wrote, “That child doesn’t know you or your extended family, only your daughter. This could be her last Christmas with her mom and he’s wanting to take that away from her. Even if it’s just the 3 of them in pajamas eating cookies all day. He’s [the A–-hole].”
Another one offered a question, “Info: If a father of a friend of your daughter presented you with this situation, what would you say? Would you have the friend over for Christmas or would you keep it strictly in the family?”
“No judgment on YTA/NTA but doesn't seem very compassionate. You used the word 'sacred' but doesn't seem like a very Christian action,” said a third.
Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She writes for Entertainment & News at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.