Woman Says The 'One Thing Wrong' With Gen Z Is Actually The One Thing Wrong With Their Boomer Parents
The way boomer parents disciplined their children is now being called into question.
Chay_Tee / Shutterstock In the grand debate on all of the things that people find wrong with Gen Z, whether it's because we're "too lazy" or "addicted to our phones," the argument for why this generation of young people could be running society into the ground comes from all angles.
But maybe we should be looking at the generation who raised us — boomers. In a TikTok video, a content creator named Mariama Diallo revealed just how much boomer parenting has affected Gen Zers.
She explained that boomer parents lacked emotional intelligence while raising their children.
"I've spoken about how my generation's parents were taught a very terrible way of parenting, to the point where they feel the best way to discipline their child is for their child to be terrified of them," Diallo strongly stated at the start of her video.
She explained that boomer parents equated fear with respect, when that's not the case. This was manifested in the type of punishments dolled out to their children, including beating, screaming, and cussing them out, which, for them, was something they believed would get their child to finally behave.
"For the most part, when they're younger they do because they're small. When the child gets bigger and they start getting stronger, and they get used to them getting beat, they start eating the punishments," she continued, meaning they start getting used to them and even expecting these types of brutal and harsh punishments.
According to the 2021 American Family Survey, it was found that the support for spanking has declined from a high of 54% in 2015 to this year’s 47% who either somewhat or strongly agree with the practice, while 35% disagreed wholeheartedly with beating children as a form of punishment.
Due to this behavior, boomer parents signed themselves up for what Diallo calls "no call, no show," which means once at child turns 18, they stop calling, they stop showing up, and these parents never see their children again.
"Your child was tired of you, they were waiting for that one time to escape and they did, and now you will never see them again until you get up and apologize. But that's another thing my generation's parents don't really know how to do. They don't really know how to say sorry because they think that children don't deserve respect."
She pointed out that this is the reason why so many Gen Zers lack an emotional connection with either one of their parents or both. Even when boomer parents weren't thinking about the future repercussions of their actions, eventually their kids grew up and realized that the relationship they have with their parents isn't healthy in the slightest.
As Diallo said, "Until my generation's parents understand that they have to emotionally connect with their child in a way that they would want their parents to do to them, they will never build a long-term connection with their kid. They're just basically raising their kid for 18 years just for them to never see them again."
She explained that adults who try to defend their parents' harsh punishments are suffering from Stockholm syndrome.
In a follow-up video, Diallo had received a comment from a TikTok viewer, who admitted to "appreciating" the fact that their parents had beat, yelled, and berated them when they were growing up. In response, Diallo pointed out that this mindset is not only the effect of children having been gaslit for years by their parents but also a symptom of Stockholm syndrome.
The term Stockholm syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where hostages or victims develop feelings of attachment, loyalty, or even affection toward their captors.
"I'm so sorry that you think that it was okay for your parents to beat you when you made minor mistakes that they easily could have sat you down and explained," Diallo said. "Gaslighting with the way this generation's parents — the Gen Z parents, Millenials, Gen X parents — how they treated them, gaslighting was a key part because they would treat their child like they have no respect for them."
Not only did the older generation of parents lack respect for their children, but they didn't understand how their behavior and the way they treated their kids affected them mentally.
"It's honestly crazy because you guys see us as being soft, gentle, you just guys see us as just complaining about nothing. But we see it as us trying to break a reoccurring issue. We're trying to fix what was done generations ago," Diallo added.
Whether the older generation of parents realize it or not, that lack of emotional connection that kids feel around their parents never goes away, even in adulthood. The estrangement that eventually happens is a result of feeling tired and constantly belittled because children expect their parents to protect them from all the harm and violence in the world, and instead, the opposite happens.
Fear does not equate to respect. Instead, it erodes the trust within the parent-child relationship and causes children to feel apprehensive about sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns because they're wary about retribution. Parenting may not come with a handbook and step-by-step rules, but one thing is always clear: it doesn't take much to love your child and validate their feelings, no matter what.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.