The Most Powerful Response You Can Have To Being Broken Up With
Consider it your superpower.
ASDF_MEDIA / Fizkes / Ales Munt / Shutterstock Everyone who has ever experienced the demise of a serious relationship knows that, depending on the circumstances, you might have the urge to reach out, lash out, or take actions that can paralyze your ability to heal and move forward.
However, there is something much more powerful that you can use to your benefit after a difficult breakup.
Silence is your superpower after a breakup.
In video shared on TikTok by “Michaeltothemax,” he started by saying, “Your silence says more than words ever can.”
Michael went on to tell viewers that in the event they are dumped by a partner, refusing to act “needy, clingy, or break down in front of them,” and ceasing any contact with them, you have made the most powerful statement possible.
By going ‘no contact’ with your ex, you are making them stand on the decision to break up with you. You are saying to them, “You wanted me out of your life? You’ve got it. You wanted to see what life would be like without me? You’ve got it,” according to Michael. You are giving them ‘permission’ to get out there and see if the grass is greener somewhere else.
Going quiet and essentially disappearing allows your former partner to experience life without your presence.
According to the TikToker, at first, they will find your absence to be a relief. Maybe they’ve been wanting to break the news that they didn’t want to be with you for some time but didn’t have the courage to do so. Now that the cat is out of the bag, they can release the anxiety and fear they’ve been feeling and finally be ‘free’.
But after a while, the reality of your loss starts to set in. Your ex starts to miss your energy and familiarity. Instead of seeing all of the terrible reasons they wanted out of the relationship, they now begin to realize what you truly meant to them and what you brought to their life. They start to recall things you enjoyed doing together, music you liked to listen to, the inside jokes you shared, and become overwhelmed with nostalgia. They suddenly miss that special bond between the two of you.
There are five things that the void you leave with your silence accomplishes.
To be clear, if you’re going silent in hopes of winning your ex-partner back or forcing them to miss you, it may or may not work. But there are some other crucial benefits to cutting contact and putting space between the two of you.
1. You reclaim your dignity.
Nothing is more shameful and demeaning than begging a person who says they don’t want you to stay. By staying silent, you allow them to walk away, and you do the same gracefully without regretting how you behave later on. Your ex can no longer take advantage of you and it’s clear that you only go where you are loved and valued.
2. You take back your power.
There are some people who know they are in control of your emotions and will fluctuate between ‘hot’ and ‘cold’ at will, knowing you will swing back and forth like a pendulum right along with them. They say. “jump,” and you say, “how high?” By going no contact, you reclaim power over your own emotions and learn that your happiness is in your own hands.
3. You teach them that you are a priority, not an option.
At the end of Michael’s video, he advised that when you go silent, you teach your ex that you refuse to be an option in their world. You put them on notice that if they want to come back into your life, they have to be willing to work for the relationship and make you a priority. They now know that you are fully capable of living without them.
4. You have an opportunity for personal growth.
The space between you and your ex allows you to rebuild confidence, take stock of your standards, and set healthy boundaries. Whether you reconcile with your ex or move on with your life, you now know what you will and will not accept in a relationship.
5. You protect your peace.
During the initial stages of a breakup, there is no shortage of drama. By going into ‘hermit mode,’ you stay away from arguments and fights. You take the time to heal so you are no longer triggered by things that once set you off and allow your ex to do the same.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington who specializes in content self-love, interpersonal relationships, and lifestyle topics. She strives to deliver informative and entertaining news you can use to help navigate life.