Mom Wonders If It's Necessary For Her Husband To Be Included On All Of The Choices She Makes For Their Newborn Baby
She claims that his constant questions about the choices she makes for their son make her feel like she is an inadequate parent.
fizkes / Prostock-studio / Shutterstock A mom questioned if she should be upset that her husband is questioning how she parents their son.
Posting to the subreddit "r/Parenting" — an online forum where people can discuss and get advice about different stages of parenting their children — a woman revealed that her husband has asked a slew of questions about certain decisions she makes for their son that she feels are a bit "nagging."
Her husband asked to be more involved in the choices she makes for their son.
In her Reddit post, she explained that she and her husband are new parents to their 11-month-old son. While both of them live in the United States as a family, she was born and raised in South America while her husband was born and raised in France.
"Lately we have been having a lot of fights and our conversations are starting to get lost in translation," she wrote. Many of their arguments have to do with their son, and she claimed that her husband will constantly ask questions and bring up concerns about how she parents their son.
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She recalled that he's continually asked her why she gives their son four bottles of formulate each day instead of less, and whenever she gets these types of questions from him, she feels that he doesn't trust the choices she makes for their son.
"He says that all the decisions about the baby, including his eating, should be a 50/50 decision and that we both need to talk about it, what I want to know is — how many of you that are mothers — consult [everything] with your husbands? Is this [necessary]?" she inquired.
She wondered if she was wrong for believing that every decision she makes on behalf of their son is done with good intentions and that she shouldn't need her husband's permission before doing something. She acknowledged that if he has a question, she has no problem answering it, but that there is no need to "consult" him on everything.
While she made sure to point out that not only did she and her husband have different upbringings but are also living in a completely different country than the one they grew up in, it seems their disagreement about their child comes from cultural differences.
Photo: Kseniya Ivanova / Shutterstock
However, it's extremely important that parents are working together to make sure their child is receiving adequate attention and that all decisions being made are discussed. By involving both parents in the decision-making process, it ensures that the perspectives, insights, and concerns of both individuals are taken into account.
This collaborative approach helps create a sense of unity and shared ownership in parenting, which benefits the overall well-being of the child.
In the comments section, people encouraged her to allow her husband to be more involved in their son's life.
"I don’t agree that he should be wanting to give permission for the baby to eat, which is kind of what it sounds like you’re saying. But you also sound like you’re saying that dad shouldn’t be interested because you’re the mom," one Reddit user wrote.
"There’s a middle ground here — he should be just as involved as you, and you should both be doing what is best for [the] baby."
Another user agreed, writing, "It’s important that everyone is heard, respected, and that their feelings are validated to prevent feelings of resentment. Do arguments happen? Yes! Do we agree on everything? No! But important to find a balance."
"From what you describe, your husband wants to be more involved, which I think is great and not a reason to think he’s doubting your decisions," a third user chimed in.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.