Mom Emotionally Explains How Not Having 'Mom Friends' Or Being A Cool Mom Seems To Be Messing Up Her Kids
She worried that she's messing her kids up by not being a cool mom, but really, she's modeling resilience and grace.
@themamadentist / TikTok Taylor McFarland, who is the mom to three kids and a pediatric dentist, opened up to her TikTok followers in a moment of vulnerability that’s relatable to all parents. She told the story of her oldest son’s first day of baseball camp, an experience that left them both feeling insecure.
McFarland emotionally explained how not being a 'cool mom' and not having mom friends seemed to be messing up her kids.
She began her video by stating, “I know we all feel like at some point or another we’re messing up our kids,” a feeling which seems to be a parental right of passage.
“I just dropped my eldest off at camp and I’m struggling so hard with just, like, not being a cool mom, which is weird, but, like, I don’t have a lot of friends, I don’t have a lot of mom friends. I struggle with my daughter with ballet; I’m having trouble with him with baseball,” McFarland said.
“He was the only kid who showed up in shorts and a T-shirt, and everybody else had on their baseball pants and a baseball shirt, and they played on a team before,” she continued. “And I played T-ball and softball, even baseball with my brother when I was younger. I thought it was really fun and I wanted him to learn baseball and do a camp this year.”
She described feeling like she “threw him to the wolves, because I didn’t know what I was doing, and I feel bad. He walked in and he could tell he was the only kid without all this baseball stuff.”
“I’m like, sitting in Dick’s Sporting Goods right now ‘cause I wanna go get him baseball pants,” she explained, laughing through her tears.
In a heartfelt and emotional moment, McFarland shared her concern that by not having mom friends, she’s putting her kids at a disadvantage.
“I just feel so bad, like, because I am anxious, and I don’t have a lot of close friends, I’m not like a baseball mom or a dance mom,” she said. “I feel like I’m holding my kids back in some way, because I don’t understand what all I need, like, all the cool things and the stuff they need to be doing.”
McFarland was honest and open about feeling insecure as a parent, yet she was able to see the humor in her situation. “Anyway, I’m really struggling, so I’m crying in the parking lot of Dick’s Sporting Goods before I go buy him some baseball pants,” she concluded.
McFarland posed a question to her followers, wondering, “Am I alone in this?” She received hundreds of comments informing her that she wasn’t alone.
“The fact that you’re pushing through the discomfort of not knowing everything is such a resilient thing you get to model,” stated one person. “You are an empathic mom!” exclaimed someone else. “No one needs a cool mom. This is beyond relatable,” said another mom.
McFarland posted a follow-up video, in which she proclaimed, “I’m not sure I’m going to survive camp season, but, update, I did get baseball pants for my son and he looked more like the other baseball players today.”
She explained, “He still doesn’t love it, he’s a little bit nervous. I underestimated my ability, or lack of ability, to get all three of my kids there on time, so we were late today, so that was my fail today. I got them there, like, two minutes late, everyone was on the field, and he was almost in tears because he was like, wasn’t sure what to do, so I was like, ‘Just go on out and join them,’ but I felt bad.”
“So, I’m continuing to fail, [and] learn from my mistakes — be there on time, leave early, get them the pants they need to match everybody else,” she said.
McFarland’s experience seems to have resonated with many parents, illustrating that there are clear benefits to not being perfect. One person in the comments urged McFarland, “Give yourself some grace,” which is a supportive and nurturing suggestion for parents everywhere.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.